2016 will be my year of enlightenment, since 2015 brutally kicked my ass.
After our home flooded in December 2014, we went from living in a 2-bedroom, 2-bath flat to a 1-bedroom, 1-bath. We gave Franco the usable bedroom, while Dean and I slept on two separate couches in the living room and dining room. After we finally recouped the full use of the home, we went through the arduous process of suing the seller (a real estate developer), and coming to an agreement through mediation.
We also moved out of San Francisco, purchasing a new home in my hometown of Alameda. It’s what made sense for Franco and his care, although I was extremely sad to leave the city. The move materially increased my commute, which caused me extreme guilt about the amount of time (or lack of time) I was spending with my son. I spend my pre- and post-work moments seriously running to catch the ferry or BART.
This has resulted in zero time for myself. I don’t exercise. I don’t get pedicures. I don’t see friends. I barely have time to eat. Instead I’ve resorted to the meal replacement drink Soylent that is trending with Silicon Valley engineers so that I can buy back a few more minutes in my day. It’s ridiculous!
A dear friend of mine died very unexpectedly. I became depressed, had a nervous breakdown, and started therapy to help me deal with extreme anxiety.
My only resolution for 2016 is to find time to for myself. Not a mother, wife, relative, friend, or worker. But simply time to breathe, to enjoy the now versus worrying about the past or the future, and just be me. I’ve heard that people teach what they most want to learn. I’ll do my best to be a good teacher.
Let’s get this year started!