In Defense of Marissa Mayer

I’ve been meaning to weigh in on Marissa Mayer’s new mandated policy at Yahoo which bans working from home. I’d previously written this post soon after she was announced CEO.

Everything this woman does, it doesn’t matter what it is, people (especially women) are going to hate. Why? Because she makes other women look bad.

She takes the helm as Yahoo’s new CEO. Consider her a bitch.

She’s insanely hard-working and neglects her sleep. She’s a bitch.

She announces she will only take two weeks maternity leave. Who does this bitch think she is?

She reports to work exactly two weeks after giving birth. What a f*ing bitch!

Why, instead of supporting each other and cheering the female advances, do women loathe other powerful women? If any male CEO had announced he had zero tolerance for telecommuting, it wouldn’t be news. We wouldn’t be debating it all over the blogosphere. But as soon as a woman who is charged with fixing a failing company plans on new structural changes, then she is castigated.

This is her job. If she fails, she will be out of a job like all the other Yahoo CEOs who had to step aside. It’s in her best interest to make decisions that she feels are most appropriate for her company. The success of Yahoo falls on her shoulders, not the miserable employees who have to give up their precious work from home privileges. Maybe as CEO she was tired of walking around the company and seeing a bunch of empty cubicles. Maybe she was fed up with going to the cafe and realizing that no one even takes advantage of the free food she mandated because they’re sitting in the sunshine at their local cafe with their dog and flirting with every ho hum telecommuter who walks by. Consider that as CEO maybe she has more information required to make decisions than any of us outsiders can ever know, and that she shouldn’t be beholden to public opinion.

Cmon people. Why do you have to be so nasty?

Let me ask you something. If you started your own company, ABC startup, and you started hiring employees to work for ABC. Are you really going to tell them straight away that you have a flexible commute policy, and they are welcome to work from home. OF COURSE NOT, YOU TURD. You would never say that. Why? Because you have ownership. You care. You want to succeed. That’s exactly what Marissa Mayer wants to do. She wants to succeed. How are you going to succeed when your work force is God knows where, collecting a paycheck. They can be in the Caribbean for all you know, slurping down another cocktail.

It doesn’t matter that Yahoo is no longer a startup. She has ownership and this is her decision. If it doesn’t work, then she will take the fall for it. If there’s a mass exodus, then she will have to own up to the consequences. But apparently, for the first time, people are proud and excited to work for Yahoo.

I’ve worked for companies with generous work from home policies. It doesn’t work. Why? Because there will be a lot of employees who take advantage of the policy with all the personal benefits and no benefit to the company. They’re the people who get up whenever they want, have average work ethic, and are essentially useless. They do what they need to do to get by and collect a paycheck. These people should never get to work from home. They don’t deserve it. Then there are your superstars who work non-stop are super responsive and you know that they’re in front of their laptop working 24/7. They’ve earned the right to work from home. While I applaud what Marissa has done so far for Yahoo, I personally would have tweaked her latest policy. I would have said there’s a ban on telecommuting unless you’ve reached some kind of milestone, whatever that is. A 9 out of 10 on a performance review, however it is scaled. Make it an incentive for people to want to work hard and to prove they’re capable of working from home because they have that focused dedication whether they’re in the office or at home. Don’t let your average Joe work from home. Quite frankly, don’t hire average Joes.