Flunking: Thoughts on the New Yahoo CEO

You know what strikes me most about Marissa Mayer being named the new CEO of Yahoo? Her age. Yeah, she’s 37 years old and the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I feel like such a LOSER because I’m the same age and nowhere near that level of responsibility. I think, what did I do wrong? Where could I have achieved more? God, I’m so fucking lazy.

And you know what? She deserves it. She’s smart, she’s qualified, she’s OCD.

There will be the naysayers who justify their mediocre existence by saying she had better opportunities, a golden trajectory. But let’s be real. We live in America, where you can rise like the phoenix from a pool of poverty to become anything you want to be. No limits. So yeah, I feel like a bum.

Anyone can go to Stanford, but most of us can’t, because we’re downright not smart enough. I could’ve gone to Google, but I simply wasn’t up to snuff. All these opportunities are afforded to us. Any ho hum person can apply to the Ivy Leagues or the fastest-growing startup in Silicon Valley. There are no restrictions.

Naysayers are failures. Plain and simple. They complain because they’re retards.

Prior to yesterday, the gold standard for people like me was Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook. Or Hillary Clinton or Oprah. But these women are old, or at least older. But now there’s a peer who has achieved more in 37 years than I can only dream of achieving in a lifetime.

This is a huge wake up call.