Archives for October 2009
Hot or Not
My fiance thinks Kim Kardashian is hot. Excuse me? Did you say KK? Daughter of OJ Simpson’s defense attorney. Stepdaughter of Bruce Jenner. I was shocked. I mean, I think of her as a high-class prostitute. Remember that porn video…
The Chosen Ones
You know how there are those one or two people in the world who you totally despise. Like the long-time Burner who’s a total bitch and everyone talks about her behind her back, but she thinks she’s the coolest fur-wearing…
Gay Talk
Dean and I got into a fight Saturday night while we were on the phone. He was out drinking with friends. I was home alone after a night of Litcrawl. I felt so depressed, suffocating in a studio apartment by…
I Write, Therefore I Am
My mom taught me arithmetic and multiplication, but my dad took me to the library almost every afternoon after his night shift as a postal clerk. He would sit in a big dark wooden table surrounded by newspapers and magazines….
It’s Not My Fault You’re Incompetent
I refinanced my mortgage for the third time this summer. I got a great rate and a mortgage payment that’s less than most of my friends’ rent. Come to think of it, at my age, most of my friends own…