I don’t identify with the cliche “I was born to be a mom.” I thought once I’d given birth, I would feel differently, but I don’t. I was born to work: read, research, analyze, communicate, report, present, troubleshoot, manage, consult.
I’ll be the first to admit that the first 3 months of mothering have been tough. Clearly being a mother is extremely rewarding, but spending every hour of every day trying to figure out how to soothe your crying baby (with very limited help from family or sitters or nannies) was excruciating.
It’s worth noting that one time when we hired a night nanny, Franco cried the whole time, even though the night nanny said she had a solid record of babies never crying around her. After that, Dean and I agreed we would no longer hire help with the exception of the full-time nanny who is caring for Franco now that I’m back at work. The point is that even so-called baby whisperers don’t always have the answers. Sometimes it really is mom and dad who know best.
And what’s best for this mommy is working full-time.
A lot of women told me to take as much time off work as possible. I took 13 weeks off post-partum. In retrospect, I should have returned to the office sooner. I prefer the adult interaction. I am energized by being productive career-wise. I thrive on the consistent schedule—even if it means less sleep. Plus I feel lost without the paper version of the Wall Street Journal!
I feel, obviously, like an outlier as I have never heard anyone say, “I was not born to be a mom.” Or “I was born to be a worker!” It’s scary to admit that I would rather spend the majority of my day in the office rather than with my child, but it’s also liberating. I’m sure there must be other mothers out there who feel the way I do. Isn’t that all we want? To hear from others who can relate to our own experiences? Wouldn’t it have been helpful for our beloved San Francisco comedian Robin Williams to know that many of us struggle from depression or whatever demons that we have, and that no one should feel alone in this zig-zagged journey of life?
There’s no shame in being/feeling different as there is much to learn from our collective and diverse stories.
Just because I wasn’t born to be a mom, doesn’t mean I won’t be a good mother. I have no doubt I will be, mainly because I myself was raised by a great mother. But also because I’m doing what I need to do to be my best self.