Hook It Up

My first year in business school, I lived in Hyde Park with a male roommate.  A hot, Australian with glasses.  When females found out I lived with him, they always said the same thing.  ”You live with Evan?  He is hot!”

One night he came home doing the dance of joy.  He had just hooked up.  Cool.  I was happy for him.  We got along fine as roommates and I celebrated his successes.  
The next morning, I went into the kitchen to find this written on our communal whiteboard.
Evan 1
Catherine 0
I gasped out loud.  Totally hilarious.  He had thrown down the gauntlet.
As the school year went by, the numbers on the whiteboard continued to evolve.
Evan 2
Catherine 0
Evan 2
Catherine 1
Evan 2
Catherine 2
Evan 2
Catherine 3
Evan 3
Catherine 4
I can’t speak for the accuracy of the numbers since this was way back in 2004-2005.  Besides, since then, I’ve been memorizing more pertinent career-focused numbers like deposit growth, loan losses, capital expenditure.  But the trend in the numbers got to the point where I was consistently beating Evan.  Woohoo!
I think the glaring loss finally became too much for him because he went over and erased the scores, whining, “I can’t believe you’ve hooked up more than I have.”
I don’t remember if we realized it during that discussion or sometime later, but it turns out, I had increased my number every time I even kissed a guy.  He laughed, “That’s not what a hookup means!”  So he had beat me all along.
Flash forward to the here and now.  Last night, I was out until about 2-2:30am, in bed around 3ish.  That’s pretty late for me.  I’m not a party girl anymore.  I woke up this morning and there was a text message from some guy I used to date.
“U still up We were thinking about the End Up”
I silence my phone at night because of the creepy crawly drunk texters.  I looked at the time he had sent it.  6:24am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mind you, he didn’t text, “Are you awake now?”
No.  His text clearly asked if I was STILL up.  In other words, did I not sleep through the night and was I ready to go clubbing at dawn.
Umm, excuse me?  Am I tripping?  Find another hookup.

San Francisco Highlights

I’ve been going out a lot lately. Like a lot. And while I’ve been zipping around, trying new restaurants, going to events, I thought I’d write a post and recap my current Bay Area faves. Here they are.


Places to hang out on a weekend: Angel Island, Park Chalet, Dolores Park, Sonoma, Crissy Field
San Francisco attraction: DeYoung Museum, Golden Gate Park, Grace Cathedral
Restaurants: Spruce, Cafe Majestic, Quince, Buckeye Roadhouse, Limon
Wine bar: Cav, District
Galleries: New Langton Arts, Aftermodern, Lost Art Salon, Shooting Gallery
Late night: End Up
Ongoing events: Minna on Wednesdays, First Thursdays in the city, First Fridays in Oakland, Blues by the Bay
Mode of transportation: your own car
Cafe: The Grove, Starbucks
Eats: In-n-Out, Hard Knox Cafe, Jack in the Box, the food court at the Westfield, Tommy’s Joynt
Events: Bay to Breakers, Burning Man
Spa: Burke Williams
Brunch: Universal Cafe, Foreign Cinema
Bars: Ambassador, Big 4 at the Huntington Hotel, Wish
Shopping: Haight, Fillmore, Mission
Other: Green Apple Books, Jewish Community Center
Arts and Culture: SF Ballet, Beach Blanket Babylon
—-
Lastly, here is one very bad seed. So bad I gave the restaurant one star on Yelp.
I hate Orson. I beg you not to patronize this place. Despite a reservation, they continued to keep us waiting. After some time passed, they said it would be a maximum of 20 minutes. Well…double that! The menu is eccentric. It’s small plates = expensive and not enough food. The food was mediocre, especially for the high prices. Everyone was rude: the manager, the servers, the hostesses. I wanted to like this place, but was so disappointed.

Eating, Stuffing, Shoveling

I have been eating, stuffing, and shoveling food into my face for the past couple days.  Since Thursday night, I have eaten out every single meal.  Friends have been in town.  Two of the dinners I had planned long in advance.

Thursday Dinner: Palomino’s
Friday Breakfast: Starbucks
Friday Lunch: Tommy Toy’s
Friday Dinner: New Langton Arts Gallery
Saturday Brunch: Universal Cafe
Saturday Dinner: Orson
By the time I had dinner last night, my stomach was doing flip-flops.  I felt ill and disgusting.  I didn’t even drink wine with dinner; I simply asked for tea.  This morning, I woke up, ran to the bathroom, and it all came out in one big shat.  Thoroughly disgusting, huh?  I know, but my body always seems to work its magic, do the right thing, and eliminate the toxins.  I’m considering cutting alcohol out of my diet for a week or so.  We’ll see how that goes.

Two Down, One to Go

In my lifetime, I’ve had three boyfriends.  My first boyfriend got married a year ago.  Randomly, I thought about my second boyfriend today.  Today of all days.  We stopped talking a while ago. Apparently, he needed space.  He was tired of me trying to be his friend.  I knew he used to have his own web site back in the day.  He created some software.  I don’t understand the tech world anymore.  Not that I ever did.  So I typed his name into my browser today, thinking I would see a revamped web site.  

No, that’s not what I saw.  Typing in his name, got me his blog, which led to his most recent post. The guy is fucking married!  I knew they were going to get married.  I bumped into one of his ex-friends a few months back who told me that he was engaged.  Not a surprise.  They’d been together for quite some time.  They seemed to work really well together.
The big surprise was that I happened to think of him, got a hold of his web site, and realized he got married three fucking days ago.
That means that I’ve got one ex-boyfriend left who is not yet married.  Two of them are.  
After I broke up with my most recent boyfriend, my friends would question, “How would you feel if he hooked up with someone else?  What would happen if he got a girlfriend?”
“You know what?  I wouldn’t mind.  Honestly, I’d be happy for him.  I really would.  I’d be glad that he found someone else.”
“What if you found out he was engaged?”
“Then you guys would definitely have to visit me in a psychiatric ward.  I would go crazy.  I would really go crazy.”

Hi, My Name is Catherine and I’m a Stalker

For those of you who have never been to AA, you actually do say those magical words, “Hi.  My name is Catherine and I’m an alcoholic.”  It was weird attending my first meeting.  I didn’t think I belonged.  I came from a nuclear family.  I was an overachiever.  And I had a great career path. I wasn’t an alcoholic!  But there was a period in my life when I called in sick too many mornings in a row because I was hungover.  I knew, then, that I had a problem.  I never completely stopped drinking.  I just try to keep it in check.

All that said, I remember saying those magical words, thinking what if people could say all the bad things that they were.  Not just being an alcoholic, but also all that other stuff.  ”Hi I’m Derrick.  I’m an alcoholic and I’m a murderer.”
Or for me, “Hi I’m Catherine.  I’m an alcoholic and a stalker.”  I can’t be that bad…not as bad as some girls, right?  But I do my fair share of stalking.  Every so often, I get on WeddingChannel.com and enter in names of guys I dated.  
“OmiGod, he is going to marry that white trash blonde he dumped me for?”
“Well, well, well, he finally found himself someone who said yes.”
“He said he wouldn’t do long distance.  What the fuck?  He’s engaged to a California chick.”
Then the scenario analysis plays out in my head.  
What if I’d moved to New York?  
What if I’d stayed in Chicago?
What if I told him I did want to have children?
What if I hadn’t hooked up with his friend that night we all went out?
What if I hadn’t flaked on our weekend getaway?
If I listed a handful of my most severe stalking incidents, I don’t think any guy would ever want to go out with me.  EVER.
I remember getting into a heated argument.  I blew up—typical for me—and charged out of the restaurant.  By the time I arrived home, I had simmered down.  I felt like I’d made a rash decision by storming off.  Suddenly I was alone when all I craved was his company.  I called…once, twice, three times.  I texted…once, twice, three times.  Oh no!  He wasn’t answering.  He wasn’t responding.  I drove like a madwoman to his place.  Bzzzz!  Bzzzzz!!!  I buzzed desperately the code on his apartment intercom.  No answer.  Ohhhh no!  Please don’t be mad.  Please answer.  I’m sorry.  I’ll make it all better.  Please!!!  Still no answer.  It was almost 2am smack in the twilight zone.  
I pursed my lips and shuddered.  I started dialing the codes to his neighbors.  A man picked up. I feared I would be yelled at for disturbing people so late in the night.  He sounded wide-awake, like a computer programmer caffeinated and productively working away.  ”Hi,” I swallowed hard and tried to think quickly on my feet.  ”I’m so sorry.  I locked myself out of Jake Meehan’s place.”  I couldn’t think of anything else to say.  I ended there.
“Oh sure.  Yeah, no problem.  I’ll buzz you in now.”
Bzzzzz.  I was surprised.  Shocked.  Someone was letting a stranger into his apartment complex just because I gave him a name.  That’s it.  A name.  Maybe I didn’t sound like a stalker.  I sounded non-threatening, sweet…like I really had gotten locked out. 
I knew Jake never locked his door.  I guess he never thought he’d have to deal with loony stalkers like me.  I pushed the door to his apartment open.  I walked in like I lived there. He was on the couch, passed out in front of the TV.  I found the remote, turned the TV off, and cuddled up to him. He woke up, surprised.  ”Catherine, honey, what are you doing here?”  
“I couldn’t stay away.”