We’ve got two years before Franco starts kindergarten and I’m doing tours now, because that’s the kind of person I am—someone who does vast amounts of research well in advance.
I spoke to a friend who lives in San Francisco. She and her husband have gone through the whole process, submitted applications, and are now waiting to hear back from San Francisco Unified School District (where you rank your choices) and the private schools. The experience is grueling, competitive and not for the faint of heart. Thankfully, I won’t have to go through that kind of battle, but the decision is anxiety-fueled nonetheless.
I’ve ruled out the private schools for now, but that doesn’t mean I won’t consider them when it’s time to get serious about academics. A child psychologist I have on speed-dial told me that the first few years of elementary school are about feeling safe, connected, cared for, and for developing relationships. Most schools provide this, hence there’s no reasons to spend your hard-earned money on an expensive private school.
For me, that narrows it down to the public/charter/magnet schools and the parochial/catholic schools.
I went to a catholic elementary school, which was fine. I probably would have gotten a better education at a public school, but I’m catholic, proud to be catholic, and firmly believe it was a better experience for me. My catholic elementary school started in first grade which meant I had to go to public school for kindergarten. A girl bullied me. It wasn’t a huge deal, just a few instances of her being aggressive and physical, but still, I was bullied in the one year I was in public school, but never experienced, witnessed or was aware of a single instance of bullying in the 12 years I was in the catholic school system.
Some can say that bullying is part of real life which is what the public school system teaches…real life. But I don’t see parents proactively moving into rundown neighborhoods because they want their kids to experience real life. Rather, everyone wants to move to areas with good school districts.
My first school tour was a catholic elementary school. I wasn’t impressed. The administration, teachers, and students struck me as average. If I had to grade the tour, I’d give it a C.
My next tour was a public elementary school and the principal wowed me. She said, “I promise you I will care for your children and love them.”
That’s all a parent wants to hear! I was like, sign me up! Then later on, the school health administrator came up to me and Dean to answer any questions. Then she encouraged us to stop by anytime to see her or speak to anyone else at the school. I’m telling you, it just comes down to customer service!
I will continue to tour and ask the hard questions. My preference is for Franco to go to catholic school and get a catholic education, but so far I’m disappointed in those school options.
God, show me the way!
Boy, you’re really doing an intensive research. I salute you, my dear daughter!
And It doesn’t look like you’re a writer, you are a writer. Keep on writing.
Aw, Catherine I opted for public schools as I taught in them before having my kids. But like you I went to Catholic School as a kid. I also went to public school for high school. While I did have a good experience in both, I ultimately decided on public school, because our districts is one of the best in our area. but still not an easy decision by any means. I have faith though you will ultimately make the right decision for Franco and your family on this.
I don’t think it’s a matter of private vs. public, necessarily. I went to private schools my entire life until Berkeley. So, I initially thought: “Private must be better since that’s the choice my parents made.” In the end, we were fortunate enough to get into the public charter of our choice (grade K-8) for the boys (there are 800 applicants and, usually, only 22-25 are placed). And, when looking at high schools, we opted to have R be part of the pilot program in a local public high school that continued the IB path on which they have been since kinder. A friend, who teaches at my alma mater, a private school asked me if money were no option, would I pull R out of the IB school and go to them. Nope. We did our research and we stand behind our choices regardless of the money. I think you are armed with information that will help you make the correct decision for your family. But don’t be afraid to change course if you find the “best” school isn’t a good fit.
There were a pair of sisters at our high school. For the oldest, our smaller school was great for her. She was more introverted and artistic. The sister ran track and was really outgoing. It was clear our small school couldn’t support that areas she excelled at and pursued. The younger sister eventually transferred to O’Dowd which was bigger and had a great track program. When I spoke to their parents about this, their dad said, we’re lucky enough to have the means to send them to the school that fits them. That has always stuck with me. As I watch Gabby interact with other kids and whether she loves learning and the way she is motivated, I hope we can place her in environments that accentuate her natural tendencies. For us, that could be public or private school. I spent the first half of my life in public school and yes, got a good dose of the “real” world. And while academically, high school was mixed for me, the emotional and spiritual support I got during those years was important. I’m hoping we have the option to change in middle school and/or high school as the circumstances change.
My kids went to public school and it was ok. The elementary years are where you learn the basics and learn how to socialize and all that stuff. Unless, you are super crappy school district, the kid will be ok in most elementary school settings and will learn.
The difference comes in the middle school and high school when self-motivation comes into play. Being an educator for 20 years on this level, the teacher is more of a guide. There is teaching going on by the teacher but it starts becoming more an issue of motivation for the student. The motivation to self improve and learn new things.
One thing that I can’t stress enough is the role the parents play in a kids education. Myself, growing up someone was praying for my ass because my parental unit did zero in helping my education (unless it was learning how to freebase cocaine (I guess that is chemistry or making sure that she didn’t run out of cigarettes and coffee). but the difference in a child succeeding is parents being active in their kids education. I know I was as a parent and I think it helped them. Get them into summer and spring reading programs at the library (they have them for pre-readers where the parent reads to them) , take them to cultural events, take them to museums. Take them to the woods and beaches and stuff. This is the education that kids need to be able succeed in life. Nothing pisses me off more than hearing some parent blame the school for their kids education while all the kid does is play friggin video games at home.
I really think it depends on where you live and what’s there! And your family, of course. In our city, public schools are pretty amazing, but there are private options that are free, and ones that aren’t. It’s enough to make you dizzy. I feel happy with what it’s been like so far.
We bought our home in large part because of the public school system, and with one kid in college, I can confidently say the schools prepared and educated her well. But what works for one kid doesn’t work for all. I know you’ll be an advocate for Franco no matter where he attends school!