Through his employer, Dean was able to score us passes to the Pebble Beach Pro-Am tournament this past weekend. It was really nice and the weather couldn’t be better. It’s seriously where the 1% hang out, which I never feel 100% comfortable in. Bill Murray was there and Justin Timberlake and my girl Condi Rice!
While riding the shuttle, we sat next to a woman named Barbara from Berkeley. She asked about Franco, then reminisced about her own sons when they were younger. I asked where they went to school and she said a combination of public and private. BINGO! I was meant to sit next to this woman! I peppered her with more questions as I’m beginning my search for where to send Franco for kindergarten. He turns 3 in May.
Will Franco go to the Catholic school that I went to? An expensive private school? A lottery-system public charter school? Would my sister consider home-schooling Franco (as she’s successfully done with her own children) and how can we make that work since we live 45 minutes away? I have no clue at this point. I need to research and tour.
Barbara sent one of her sons to a very expensive private elementary school for a few years. I mentioned that the school had a good reputation, but she shook her head and said the value wasn’t there. Okie-dokie. Cross that one off the list, especially since it’s $30k a year!
Her youngest is now at Berkeley High School, which is the only public high school in the city of Berkeley. She said it’s “Go Yale or Go Jail,” meaning kids either graduate and go to one of the Ivy’s or they go to prison. College counselors know that if you can do well at Berkeley High despite the high gang prevalence, you can succeed anywhere. I gave an excited nudge to Dean. We’ll send Franco to Berkeley High where it’s public, free, diverse, excellent education. Plus we love Berkeley! The stars are aligned.
Then she added, “There are a lot of drugs on campus. A lot of drugs. Almost all the kids do drugs. My son doesn’t which is why he doesn’t have many friends, but he’s fine with that. He builds computers, does his programming. He’s really thriving.”
Ummmm, drugs? Oh no, no, no! If I knew drugs were rampant on campus, why would I place my kid in that environment? Sorry, but that stopped me in my tracks. That won’t work for us. That said, I’ve heard that drugs are even more rampant at many of the elite private schools. What’s a mother to do? I’m proud to say that no one ever mentioned drugs at my high school. And even when I went to college, I smoked pot once in the dorm with my roommates and that was it. I never wanted to do it again.
Many factors to take into consideration. And probably one of the most important decisions to be made as a parent.
How did you decide?
Was it public or private?
Was it the right choice for your child?
I would really love to hear.
Both my girls are in public school here, but our school district is a fairly good district in the state. But still have heard some of the best school do have issues with drugs being easily available. I sadly think this is just the way our world is. So, it is up to us to teach our kids about drugs and how they can effect them negatively. I hope that being open and honest as my kids are growing up will indeed help and outweigh the pressures that might exist as they do get older. That is just my opinion.
janine, i agree that the school district is a huge consideration. here in the bay area, the better the school district, the more expensive the homes (as in multi-million dollar homes!). it’s so insane. it’s like you can’t win! as for parenting, i think if you’re close to your children and pay attention and care about what they’re up to, then they will do awesome 🙂
I cannot imagine spending 30k for elementary school…but then again…I am not in the 1%. I simply don’t have the background to wrap my head around such a thing! The drug thing sadly, may just be a sign of the times. It’s nice that there is a free public high school that can get kids from all backgrounds to bigger and better…they just have to make it past the drugs. I don’t remember being aware of anything like that in my public high school. It’s a different world.
hi cece, living in the bay area is expensive! don’t ever move here. haha! the best private schools here are $30-50k a year! what matters most to me is where my son will get the best education. we are lucky that i have the means to spend what it takes, but i’m also not necessarily convinced that the expensive schools are better academically. there are some damn good public schools, but they are really hard to get into. you either have to be a genius or win their lottery acceptance.
Hi Catherine, this is an excellent time to be thinking about Franco’s education.
First off I will say that I was home schooled all of my life. I loved it, I’m glad I was and I’m a big proponent of doing so but I will say, it’s not for everyone. So…here are a few things to ask yourself first.
1. What is my goal for my child?
Is the most important goal that Franco one day attend a Ivy League school? Is it that he be the best student he can be? Is it so that he can follow his dreams and desires?
2. Do I just want him to follow in my footsteps?
This is important that we as parents grapple with because this can actually put them into our mold which probably isn’t what truly is best for them. Each child has gifts and talents of their own. It’s important as parents to mold their education around them, not what we did or did not have.
3. Who knows my child best?
I believe that answer is their parents. You know when he is starting to get sick, you know when he is tired, you know when he is struggling with something and you know your child best. This, I believe, qualifies you to be his very best teacher.
4. Teach them to LOVE to learn!
Since being homeschooled I believe the greatest gift my Mother instilled in me through home schooling was the LOVE to learn. School was not just about tests, quizzes and boring dates and people. It was alive to me! It impacted my life and helped me grasp that I could read anything, do anything and set my goals to get where I wanted to be!
Learning should not end when you are handed a diploma! It should be a life skill you cultivate until you die.
I do believe this can be handed on to your children no matter what education they have but it’s a parents job to focus on it strongly.
Below are some articles that I think you will find helpful. And if you have more questions about homeschooling, please just ask!
(Broad homeschool information. )
https://www.nheri.org/research/research-facts-on-homeschooling.html
(Homeschoolers on National Tests)
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/aug/30/home-schooling-outstanding-results-national-tests/
(Globally, our education is important. This is just an interesting read and something to think about.)
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2013/12/03/248329823/u-s-high-school-students-slide-in-math-reading-science
(This is a study of how well homeschool students do at a Catholic college. I just thought you would be interested in it. )
http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1005657.pdf
(We share a love for Condi Rice too! She was also homeschooled for a little while as well. )
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/01/books/review/Freedland-t.html
I went to public school through 5th grade where at least two or three times a week I heard, “Oh, you finished the assignment? OK, you can have quiet reading time until everyone else is done.” After that it was private school through 12th grade which, while not perfect, never subjected me to that ridiculousness again.
Calvin is at a choice school within our public school district (it’s lottery selection, but younger siblings are guaranteed a spot, so Douglas will go there as well) . Two things about the program that really appealed to us: first, an emphasis on social/emotional learning and educating the whole child; second, a culture that places significant value on parental participation. The school asks that, if possible, every family give two hours a week in the classroom for each child (though if a family can’t do that, there are other ways to give back). My husband and I split it up, so we each do every other week – and because it’s only nine months a year, with breaks sprinkled throughout, it’s really not HUGELY challenging (of course, we’re lucky to have jobs that give us the flexibility/autonomy to choose to take on a commitment like that). Anyway, the parental participation piece has been really helpful – it ensures we know what’s going on in the classroom, both academically and socially, and just keeps us better connected to him overall.
It’s not easy, especially around here. I wish you luck figuring out what’s right for you guys!
Going to say that you can go anywhere and get a decent education. Both of my kids went to public school and even though their K-8 through and high school were highly rated I thought (because of No Child Left Behind) their total education was piss-poor.
The thing is that I dragged my kids to museums, cultural events, you name it in trying to expose them to stuff. I also have a huge book collection that has every topic, plus a lot of reference books. I had them meet interesting people who did things with their lives and they would talk to my kids about things. I wanted to them to be excited about learning and learning from every avenue possible. Too many people close off avenues of learning just because it isn’t from some fancy friggin school. A couple of weeks ago, I went to the Californian International Antiquarian Book Fair in Oakland. At first I was a little intimidated because these were the sharpies but after talking to one, I was ok. I learned a whole lot about stuff and it is was amazing. Now, something like that is a great way to learn. Looking at original works by Geoffrey Chaucer and talking to a Chaucer expert. Beats any high price school.
I work with a lot of people who consider themselves more intelligent than me because the name on their degree, the problem is that their functional intelligence doesn’t exist and they don’t have the common sense that God gave a rabbit. They have a fancy friggin name on their stuff but can’t find their way out of a wet paper bag in a hurricane.
But when it comes to education, I defer to the words of the great Hall of Fame Basketball Coach Al McGuire: “I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.”
Just to tell you my daughter is on the Dean’s List at Cal-State Hayward (will never call it East Bay) and my son gets A’s and B’s at Diablo Valley College. It is a JC but it was a way to keep his athletic career going. Some may say that going to a JC is a waste but I say the experiences that he is having by being able to keep his athletic career going outweigh going straight to a four-year college right away and not playing.
I wish I had something to offer, but seems you have some incredible advice from other readers. I can’t imagine spending that amount of $$ on an elementary, but I know it’s not a decision you are making lightly–and I know that whatever you decide will be the right decision for your adorable Franco 🙂 I did have a chat with someone about this yesterday; it seems public vs. private is a hot topic and that where I live private schools are just as $$. Crazy!
XOXO
We moved to our home in large part because of the good public schools. I will say that drugs are an issue in so many schools – public, private, city, suburbs…and often the more disposable income families have, the bigger the problem.