I have been in an awful funk lately where I’m feeling like nothing is going my way. It’s so bad that whenever I see emails cross my inbox, I’m already prepared for the worst. The contractor we hired is backing out. The career coach I wanted to work with realized she doesn’t have time to take me on. Rejections for jobs I’ve applied to are finally coming through. I feel blah. I look blah too.
Normally when I’m feeling down, I could take care of myself by sleeping in or going on a weekend getaway, but stuff like that doesn’t happen anymore now that I’m a mother. This added burden of being a parent is all-encompassing because Franco’s needs supersede my own, obviously. I’m also hyper-sensitive to his crying and fussiness. I’m not one of those mothers who’s easy-going!
Further, because my parents take care of Franco full-time (equivalent to 50+ hours a week), I refuse to add to their schedule by asking for date nights or weekends.
Adding insult to injury are all forms of social media, which I should probably ban when I’m feeling down. Here is what I’m thinking whenever I browse Facebook or Instagram.
- WTF, they’re on vacation again?!
- Seriously, did they hire Martha Stewart to plan that birthday party?
- Did they just leave their kids for a week while they went on vacation? Who does that?!
I would love to see some Instagram pictures of people red-in-the-face with thermometers in their mouths and tom yum soup on their nightstands. What happened to reality and authenticity?
Then because I am overly sensitive, I think about the Oregon shooting victims or the image of the Syrian toddler who drowned, and I’m like, have some perspective. Wake up and be grateful.
Anyhow, I am contemplating a mental health day sometime soon because I need some serious rest and relaxation ASAP.
Readers:
- How do you keep a balanced outlook on social media?
- What are some things that you do to take care of yourself when you are overwhelmed, but still have responsibilities to attend to.
Janine Huldie
Aw, Catherine I am seriously the last person to ask today as I am nursing a high grade fever and was supposed to the kids out for some fun time as they had off from school today and Kevin had off from work, too. A mental health day sound fabulous though and hoping you can take one soon now. Hugs!
mcm
1. I don’t spend much time on Facebook, either reading or posting. When I do post, I try to keep it brief. But seriously, mostly ignoring it helps. Also, w/r/t Twitter, very few of the people I follow are people I know in real life, which allows a weird sort of distance, which helps.
2. Pay pay pay for child care. I seriously can’t stress it enough. We don’t have any family closer than Arizona, so we don’t have a choice – but having a few trusted babysitters means that I can get out occasionally when I need to (especially given that my husband is billing 80-90 hours/week lately – which means all childcare and housework falls on me). It also means that my kids are used to having to be a little independent now and then, which I think sets them up well for real life later.
That said, I look forward to others’ responses to that second question, because I’m having definite issues there myself. While paying for a sitter once or twice a month gives me a chance to get a haircut, take a walk, or just sit at a coffeehouse for a bit, I really need a way to incorporate self-care into my daily routine. I get both kids to school, go straight to work, stay there head-down for 8.5 hours (I never take breaks because I’m so aware of the fact that I have a short day due to the fact that I have to be home by 6 at latest), get home while the kids are eating dinner, do both bedtime routines (ending at 8:30), do dishes/clean-up and then, frequently, do more work. Generally go to bed before my husband even gets home. I wish I had time to go to the gym even for half an hour… but I get so pissed off at the people who are like, “Well, you’ve just got to prioritize it! You’ve got to make time!” Seriously? How am I supposed to do that???
Huh. Apparently I’m a little worked up. Looking forward to others’ comments!
Glenda Solis
to cheer myself up, I eat chicken soup, popcorn or potato chips, root beer floats, look at art books and watch my favorite movies for hours…….take a day for yourself….I’m sorry you’re feeling so down….miss you & hope to see you soon….much love…..
Cece
I’m starting to feel like social media is the devil! Most of the time I just say, it’s not real and who cares if strangers don’t like you as much as so and so. I don’t pay it much thought. Then other times, it does bother me and I want to quit it all-except I don’t. Hugs to you and MCM for being working moms and trying to figure out how to make time for yourself. Hang in there! And remember-this too shall pass.
Patrick weseman
I start by reading the poem ‘Don’t Quit” and remember that “Success is Failure turned inside out. ”
I also that I am not going let others and what they are doing determine my happiness. And I look in the mirror and if you the “Man in the Mirror” is ok with things then I am.
Kenya G. Johnson
My last post is defnitely in line with this one on the social media thing. As for new motherhood, I remember those days. Getting up and making my bed and just looking forward to getting in it again. Take that mental health day as soon as you can. At the same time I’m telling you to do that I can’t remember when I actually did that with a little one. Sorry :-/ Go buy yourself something or get your hair done. It’ll feel good until the newness wears off.
Dana
I remind myself that people only share the positives on social media (for the most part), so it’s a skewed view.
It will get easier, but I know that is of absolutely no help right now. Get a massage, or a mani/pedi – a few hours on the weekend will recharge you and be a gift to both you and Franco.
Tamara
Aw.. things tend to come in waves – not working out, working out. A good wave will come your way. As is the way of it!
I took a social media cleanse recently, because I was in the wilderness and had no choice. It was awesome, but of course I’m back now and a little blue and feeling social media overload.
Nikki
Girl, I totally get where you’re coming from. We have four kids and my husband works nights while I work days. We hardly see each other, let alone getting any time to ourselves.
Sundays are hard, but they pass. I just keep telling myself that one day my kids will be gone at my house will be empty and I will miss these days. Even in a couple years when Frank I was more independent you will find you have so much more time to yourself. Give it time. Be patient. Things will fall into place. I went months looking for a job and getting rejection after rejection. It hurts. And it’s really hard to get out of that funk. Keep your chin up and thank you for being so real here.