Six years ago, Dean and I met on Friday February 13 at Amelie wine bar in San Francisco, then went out to dinner for Valentine’s the following day, and were engaged within months. We’ve now been married for almost 5 years and have a 9-month-old son. Swear to God, I find it mind-boggling because I thought I was going to remain single forever! I truly thought I’d date casually for the rest of my life, keep on going to Burning Man year after year, and take trips around the world with my girlfriends and gay best friend.
At the time, I had this ‘woe is me’ mentality and cried myself to sleep as if I were the only single person left in the whole universe. If I could go back in time, I would slap that girl silly. I was leading an INCREDIBLE life. I could stay out past last call, sleep in, go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I may not have been partnered up, but I always had a friend to accompany me anywhere. And even if I didn’t, I was perfectly fine sitting at the bar by myself, enjoying a glass of wine. I met lots of guys that way.
My advice to singletons on this contrived day of love: While it is normal to long for a committed relationship, don’t let it get in the way of enjoying the present. Trust that if you were meant to be with someone, that it will happen at the right time.
And in this digital age, how challenging can it be to meet someone…anyone? Back when I was dating, there were only a few sites: Craigslist, Match, eHarmony. Now there’s OkCupid, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, It’s Just Lunch, Tawkify… I’m always curious and amazed to see how many different data apps there are. There’s no excuse.
So what if the dates don’t work out or the relationship ultimately comes to an end? Yes it can be sad and depressing, but there’s something so magical about getting dressed up and going out. Isn’t it nice to flirt and hold hands? I’m still friends with the majority of guys I dated because even if I didn’t end up marrying them, there was still value in those connections! Romance is magical. Seize the moment.
I definitely couldn’t agree with you more. Like you I also dated a lot, but never thought I would indeed find the one either. Then I met Kevin and we also were engaged after 9 months of dating and will now be married 9 years. And the rest is history;)
Excellent advice. You can’t mope around just because you’re single. There are plenty of pro’s to being single: your time at home is your own, you can do whatever you want, and you’re only responsible for yourself. While I just love my family to pieces, I wish I had spent another year or two enjoying single adulthood.
It is sad when you see someone who has “settled” simply because they were so desperate to be part of a couple. It’s (hopefully) a long life – best to be with the person you were meant to spend your life with!
What a cool post! Romance is magical. I am not friends with my old dating partners so much, but it would be ok if I was!
I love that it was another Friday the 13th in February in which you met!
Happy belated anniversary of the day you met! I met my husband in college, so I didn’t live the “singles” life. Looking back, I probably would have benefited from doing so, but I’ll take what I’ve got with no regrets!
You know, I’ve never actually “dated.” I married the first boyfriend I ever had – we are going on our 16 year anniversary of being together this May! My sis is living the single life and loving it! She is fabulous in every way and enjoys the company of her friends, takes short trips all the time and sleeps in whenever she wants. It’s all good single or married, just depends on how you look at it!
Touche! Definitely have to enjoy being single when you can because things are VERY different once you’re “coupled”.. 😛 Six years what a feat! Congrats to you guys 🙂 Hope you had a wonderful Valentine’s Day! Take Care -Iva