In talking to a wellness coach recently, she asked my stress level on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest. My response was an 11 because I have never been more stressed out in my life.
Here’s the thing. I thrive on stress. I like being busy, overworked, and admittedly, I actually enjoy being a bit on the overly-stressed side. I’m also the type of person who doesn’t need much sleep. 6 hours is the perfect amount for me. But these days, I feel like I have no reprieve.
Pre-child, I could always get into the office earlier or stay later if I was busy with work. I could go for a hike or a run. But all the things I could count on previously to de-stress no longer apply.
The nanny picks up Franco at 7:30am. Soon after, I am practically running to catch the train. Luckily my commute is 25 minutes from the time I leave home to the moment I’m logging into my computer. I’m the last person on my team in the office (when I used to be one of the first) and now I’m also one of the first to leave because I try to be home in time for Franco’s drop-off at 5:30pm. We barely get any time with him before he starts fussing and needs to go to bed.
Further, I pump at least twice at work which means booking a reservation to the company mother’s room, getting there, partially getting undressed, pumping, collecting, labeling, washing and cleaning the pump supplies, then getting dressed again.
I dream of the day when I can go to a spa or gym and sit in the steam room for 10 minutes. Imagine!
I have no time, I told the wellness coach. Taking this into consideration, she gave me one action item to implement and pointed me to an excellent resource. Three times a day at 9am, noon, and 3pm, I put into my calendar a recurring appointment to breathe and stretch. I roll my head around, stretch my arms and legs, and breathe deeply. I also dab lavender oil on my nose. It’s such a lovely relaxing scent.
I read a few articles on stress here and they were really helpful. Some tips included:
Look at a favorite picture or memento.
Listen to uplifting music.
Spritz on your favorite perfume or cologne.
Stretch or roll your head in circles.
—
When have you been super stressed out?
What do you do to alleviate stress?
I truly feel for you and then some. Just so you know even after 5 years and 2 kids, I still have my fair share of stress and many days I just am not sure how I do it all, but I do promise the amount of these moments do get better and lessen as they do get older. Hugs to you tonight!
Be good to yourself. Remember that you’ve spent the last year growing and birthing and caring for a whole person. And the losses you experienced prior to that are still fresh.
The stresses you experience as a parent are different (not necessarily more or less, just different) than those you had before.
Hang in there mama! It gets easier.
I’m sure I already know what you’re going to say but I’ll plant this seed anyway…. Have you thought about giving yourself a break? There’s nothing wrong with having a part time (or even full-time) nanny for a few months while you take some time off work to be with your babe and get some rest. I wonder if your boss would be willing to work something out for you so you can work part time during this REALLY HARD early stage of motherhood. I know you’re a think-outside-the-box type of gal — I’m sure you’ll come up with something that works for you and your family. 😉
Hugs!
It will get better.
Having one adult kid and one that is almost adult watching them grow is the best thing in the world.
I’ve been super stressed out lately, with two kids in two different schools/care programs. Plus I’m working a lot.
It’s hard. It’s very hard to balance work and family life, especially in those breastfeeding days. I feel for you very much, but I know you’re working hard to de-stress.
Ugh that lavender oil on the nose sounds outstanding! I’m probably the most relaxed – but I’ve already had the newborn and been working 2 jobs plus full time school.. I’ve been overly stressed out and in the end it wasn’t good. My environment and network also was as supportive as it could have been but in the end the removal of myself from everything familiar helped. I think for you it’s important to prioritize what’s important and plan accordingly – also, learn to accept your work schedule, if need be, try to see if they can allow you to work from home once a week. Believe me when I tell you it’s’ beyond amazing. I think that’s what’s given me back most of my sanity. That flexibility once a week is beyond amazing; be sure to keep the nanny so she can take Franco and treat yourself to something during that day while on lunch. Sorry to hear you’re so stressed out, even if your body is used to it – your heart and brain will not be grateful in the long run. Take it easy – literally. Have a great one Catherine! -Iva
I’m stressed just hearing about your day, Catherine! I really like the head rolling suggestion – relaxing and good for tight muscles too.
I struggle to balance everything too. And I am stressed a good part of the time. I don’t know what the answer is. I haven’t figured it out. I used to do well on very little sleep but now I am having a hard time with it. I feel for you…being a new mom is a difficult role, I think. It takes a lot of energy. Hang in there and just try to take time for yourself! I’m thinking of you.
This is one of the things I kind of fear about becoming a mom. I love having lots to do but I get so stressed when I’m overbooked. Having a baby is going to add a whole new level to this. I don’t know if I’m ready but it’s too late to turn back so I’ll just have to deal as best as I can. I like the appointment idea!
Scheduling time to destress is a great idea. I am always jealous of my coworkers’ who have that “break” in the Mother’s Room but maybe I shouldn’t be!
Oy. That’s a lot you have on your plate, momma. But taking some time out each day to move and stretch and BREATHE is so important and I’m glad you are focusing on your own well-being, too. I hope things settle for you soon (and Love that you dab on some calming lavender… that does the trick for me, too!).
XOXO