Justin Bieber has a special place in my heart because he took on the Philippines (my parents’ native land) as one of his charitable causes, raising over $3 million in the aftermath of Typhoon Haiyan. I am heartened that he used his influence to rally so many of his fans to assist when tragedy struck. Obviously the kid is no saint, as he was recently arrested for a DUI, drag racing, and drug possession.
We see this happen repeatedly: child stars with so much fame and power, spiraling out of control. It’s easy to shake our heads and criticize, but how many of us can truly understand what is going on. We’ve never been exposed to such wealth and celebrity.
Justin is a mere 19 years old. Let me tell you what I was doing when I was that age. I was fresh out of the dorms, living in a small 3-bedroom apartment with four other girls. Sure I was living away from my parents and on my own, and yes I consumed my fair share of alcohol underage. But I was also disciplined because unless I wanted to fail out of Biology and Organic Chemistry, I needed to be focused and I needed to study my ass off, if ever I wanted to live a life that didn’t consist of eating Top Ramen for dinner.
Contrast my life with Justin’s. He’s not wanting for anything. He’s achieved fame, fortune. He has nothing to strive for. We can dismiss his life as another celebrity gone wrong. It’s not something that can statistically happen to our normally raised kids. Yet how often do we see addictions manifesting in young adults, prevalent underage drinking and drug use, and teenage pregnancy?
Where is Justin’s mother? She seems to be praying, as she has called on the public to refrain from criticizing and join her in praying for her son. While I’m a firm believer in prayer, I also believe that God helps those who help themselves. Justin’s mom needs to be by her son’s side like a fly on shit. He’s become an immature spoiled brat, lacking guidance, and needs discipline. Children need and crave discipline!
Are you your child’s best friend? If so, that’s a RED FLAG. My husband is my best friend. My kid will never be my best friend. I am there to advise, guide, and discipline. That is a parent’s job. If ever you suspect your kid is going off the rails, heed my words: LIKE A FLY ON SHIT. You should know who their friends are, who their friends’ parents are, where they are at all times, what they like and dislike, what motivates them. Be a parent, not a friend.
YES! Catherine! You are so right. We all did stupid things when we were 19, but we didn’t have the materials to go nuts like Bieber has, and most of us, if we were fortunate, had limits, and parents who would have kicked our butts. Your kid has an awesome future with you as a parent.
You said tho perfectly and that is what is so wrong with our society today. So many parents think they need to be their kids best friend, but what the child really needs is that parent to be a parent, plain and simple. So, totally couldn’t agree more and sad to see this more and more be the way.
So disappointed in Justin. And all the people around him who are totally NOT helping him. He is clearly in need of serious discipline before something tragic happens.-Ashley
Amen to this.
Being a parent of two teen-agers, I know that teens want and crave discipline even though they say they don’t want it.
I try to keep it real for my two and they know the rules. When my daughter screwed up her freshman year, I went bats**t on her and took both kids to the Golden Gate Bridge. Told them “Look at the bus stop across the street, always remember it because it has heat and a roof.” They still remember it to this day.
My ex always says to me “Well, you should want them to be your friends. They need to like you.” My comment back is “I am 45 years old and if I need to be hanging out with teens than I have a serious problem. I don’t care if they like me, as along as they respect me.”
I know my way of being a parent is not the way of most but as I told my kids the other day: When you monkey butt is 18, you should be two things, responsible for yourself and accountable for you actions. Too many parents don’t subscribe to this theory.
I agree 100%. Parents today care more about being a friend than being a parent. I have no patience for the misbehaved, disrespectful, entitled kids of today. All of it is unacceptable. If I were a parent, I’d be like a fly on shit with my kid. I’m the parent. You’re the child. Deal with it. Heck, I’m a grown woman and I still have a serious reverential fear of my parents. Justin needs a good slap!
Be a parent, not a friend. Yes! I love that. My mom and I are friends now but only because she parented me until I had proven myself. And let’s be honest, I still occasional need a bit of parenting!
I totally agree. I don’t care if my teenagers like me right now, I am their mother, not their friend. My job is to make sure they don’t totally screw up their lives doing something stupid. Praying is all well and good, but Justin needs a wakeup call.
Well said! My kids know my mantra by heart: “You are the child, I am the parent. We are NOT equal.” I like your fly on shit phrase better, but I probably shouldn’t say that to my kids.
Honestly, I’m not sure what his parents are doing/thinking.. I would find a way to regain power of attorney over his a$$ and get his hiney back home to Canada.. He needs some humbling time to simmer down and get his act together. It’s sad to see these kids with so much potential act stupid just because people cannot say NO to them. Have a great one Catherine! -Iva
Ditto, ditto, ditto! Sometimes I wonder if parents who have the incessant need to be liked as a friend, give up parental responsibilities rather than be disliked, due to their own psychological issues. There is a line between living your life FOR your child and living your life THROUGH your child.
I was a mess at 19.
29 too.
I think a lot about how hard it can be to be a celebrity of that caliber. I wouldn’t want it. More money, sure. But not that!
Like a fly on shit – reminds me of my own parents 🙂
Yeah, I’m to the point where this stuff doesn’t shock me. It’s like another one bites the dust. I think it falls back on the parents. There are cases of enabling going on in all demographic levels. These child stars should still be treated like children with limits and also be allowed to have some carefree moments. I think parents get greedy. There is no way I’d allow my child to subcomb to the demands of Hollywood. It’s just too stressful. You are almost dooming them to pitfalls. Work and responsibility is hard enough for the average 20 something. What can we expect from children?
Now I know there are exceptions. I think each child should be assessed appropriately if entering that life. Then close monitoring along the way.
Ugh, all I keep thinking about are the parents. Where are they and what are they doing???
I’m sure I’m not the only one that saw this coming. I felt sorry for him after I watch is documentary. He had so much going on – a burnout of some type was inevitable. Poor kid, I was actually shot to be reminded that he’s only 19.
That was me- on the kids like a fly on shit…I knew all their friends, knew their friends parents, would drop them off at a friends house and stop in to see that parents were there, if it was a new friend I’d invite the parents over to our house and we’d get to know each other. I was always the parent on call for driving around. Went to all the games, school events and would check on all the video games they were playing. My son came home one day and told me that he played Grand Theft Auto at his friends house – It didn’t sound like the kind of game I would find acceptable so I looked it up online and almost fell off my chair.I explained to my then 11 year old that he couldn’t ever play this game again and then I called the mom whose older son had the game and told her to look into it – she was mortified she missed that one and was actually really thankful I called her. Game gone. It does take a village to raise children and you must find like minded parents to work with but most importantly parents must be vigilant – it’s 24/7. You think it’s hard when they are little and you can control their environment – just wait till they are teenagers. It is what you sign up for when you become a parent. Period. But it’s so worth it.
You hit the nail on the head Catherine! I feel sorry for him. He’s obviously crying out for attention. As far as his parents, especially his dad…I mean really, being with him while he smokes pot and blocking off the streets while he drag raced! What do you expect? The kid didn’t even have a chance if this is who raised him. The saddest part is that he’s surrounded by people who obviously DON’T love him, why…because they’re enabling him to live recklessly.
I agree as well. Justin Bieber has so much money that he probably feels that he knows everything and doesn’t need to listen to his parents any longer—that’s not the case. As a young adult, (21), I feel like I need my parents even more now at this age. For support, guidance, and advice. His parents need to stop trying to be his friend…even when though he doesn’t need them to support him financially.
Amen! You are going to be a great parent!
I love that “LIKE A FLY ON SHIT” haha. My dad used to say “I’m watching you like a hawk” and give me that look. You know, THAT don’t eff with me look. My parents were young (seriously, my mom is in her 40s and my sis and I are in our 30s right now), but they made it a point NOT to be our friends but to be our parents.
Justin. I’m disappointed, but not surprised.
Yes, yes, and yes.
When I think of the many times I was disciplined–often harshly–over the years and how much I hated my parents in the moment… It’s weird. I actually feel as though I owe them now. So big. Because they taught me incredibly valuable lessons. Like the time my father had a really sweet heart-to-heart and asked that if I were ever drunk and in need of a ride home, that I should call him first and he would come and pick me up anywhere–that I would never be in trouble for calling. That was his thing. He was my friend. But he was my dad first. And I respected that and I knew boundaries.
I feel sad for Justin. I had friends and people who cared. I believe that he does, too–but when you are that wealthy, it’s hard to know who is really there for the right reasons. And like you said–we are so young and immature at that age.
Like Gracielle says above, I am disappointed; not surprised.
How funny – I just posted something on the topic of children & free will today.
It’s a tough one. I’m sure it’s hard for any parent to have influence over their adult child, let alone a child with Handlers with a huge financial interest in keeping the child away from positive influence. I do feel bad for Justin and I agree he is on a downward spiral and headed for rock bottom. But some people need to hit rock bottom so they can start again and build something stronger. And some people (i.e., fans) may need to see someone who is at “the top” hit rock bottom so they can lose any illusions that The Top is somehow immune from life’s troubles.
Unless we know of darkness, we cannot fully appreciate the light. We can make ourselves crazy trying to control our world but sometimes things just have to happen a different way. Ultimately, we need to have faith that everything that happens, happens for good.
I pray for him, and for his mother’s aching heart, to find peace.