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Catherine Gacad

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All Posts, Parenthood, Religion

We Are Pregnant!

We are pregnant!

We were pregnant.

And then we were not.

For the second time in only three months, I have miscarried another baby.

Please God it’s not fair to fill your heaven with our little babies. You already have one. Did you have to take another?

I am numb.

I am scared.

I am anxious.

I’m depressed.

I am mad.

I cannot sleep.

I cannot rest.

I want to give up.

I want to try.

I want to sleep.

I want to cry

I can feel my heart pounding against my chest. Why? Why? Why?

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08.08.13

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Comments

  1. Considerer

    August 8, 2013 at 10:09 am

    A thousand hugs to you, my friend. There is no way to stop this heartbreak, and I wish so much that there was.

    Reply
  2. Megan

    August 8, 2013 at 10:38 am

    Catherine,

    So sorry to hear this news. Sending good thoughts and well wishes to you!

    Reply
  3. Savvy Working Gal

    August 8, 2013 at 10:46 am

    I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

    Reply
  4. Cam

    August 8, 2013 at 11:16 am

    Cathy, my heart aches for you and Dean. Sending you healing thoughts and warm wishes.

    Reply
  5. Janine Huldie

    August 8, 2013 at 11:38 am

    Catherine, I have no words and please know right now my heart truly goes out to you. I know how much you do want a little one and seriously feel absolutely terrible for you. You are definitely in my prayers and thoughts. Just know you are a good person and consider you a friend in the crazy, wonderful world of blogging. If you need anything, please feel free to message me.

    Reply
  6. Kayla

    August 8, 2013 at 11:45 am

    I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you are going through. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong! God has a plan for everyone.

    Reply
  7. Ferly Tangonan | Gifts We Use

    August 8, 2013 at 11:56 am

    Oh dear Catherine, my heart breaks with yours. You are in my prayers for sure. Praying for your heart to heal as you grieve, and praying for your faith to increase as you process.

    ~ Ferly
    Gifts We Use {to grow, love and serve}

    Reply
  8. Allyssa

    August 8, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    Catherine, I am so sorry! I can only imagine how difficult this must be. Sending you lots of hugs!

    Reply
  9. Lynne Childress

    August 8, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    Dear Catherine, I send you peace and comfort. Words seem not to be big enough, but I offer you my thoughts and prayers.

    Reply
  10. Inthemiddle

    August 8, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    I am so sorry friend! I know there is nothing I can say that can make this any easier just know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!

    Reply
  11. April

    August 8, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    I am so sorry. My brother and his wife have had many miscarriages and problems with fertility. It is so much more than simply being disappointed. I don’t know why it happens, and I never know what to say to them. My heart aches for every woman who has a hard time.

    Reply
  12. Sarah

    August 8, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    I can’t claim to know what you are going through, but I still want to offer you all of my support. I will be keeping you in my thoughts during this terrible time.

    Reply
  13. Michelle

    August 8, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    Oh I am so sorry Catherine! I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you. Please know I am thinking of you. Sending you a virtual hug…you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Reply
  14. Candy O

    August 8, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    I’m so sorry dear. Ill be praying for peace, comfort and strength for you and your husband. It will happen.

    Reply
  15. Taylor Brione

    August 8, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    My thoughts and prayers are with you through this trying time. Sending a virtual hug your way.

    Reply
  16. Amber

    August 8, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    Catherine, I am so sorry to hear this. My heart hurts for you. my thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

    Reply
  17. Dana

    August 8, 2013 at 5:05 pm

    I want to scream for you. I am so sorry for loss, and I wish I could offer you comfort. I wish your post had ended after the title. I pray that one day it will.

    Reply
  18. Alison

    August 8, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    Catherine, I am so very sorry for your loss. Hugs.

    Reply
  19. Sandra

    August 9, 2013 at 1:53 am

    Catherine my friend, I feel your pain, your sorrow. I’m so sorry for yor loss and all you’ve been through. Praying you find some peace and comfort today. A big squeeze to you and all my love. Sandra

    Reply
  20. The Dose of Reality

    August 9, 2013 at 4:32 am

    Oh, Catherine. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I wish I was there so I could give you a hug and just sit with you. Please know you’re in my thoughts and prayers. –Lisa

    Reply
  21. Shelli

    August 9, 2013 at 7:08 am

    I clicked over after you followed me on Twitter, and suddenly realized you are also a fellow sister-in-loss. I am so sorry- I’ve been there too. I wish you comfort during this awful time.

    Glad to have found you, but not under such awful circumstances. Hugs to you.

    Reply
  22. Samantha

    August 9, 2013 at 7:32 am

    I’m so sorry… This is so awful, and it’s heartbreaking that have to experience it a second time! Praying for you this morning…

    Reply
  23. Joi @ Rx Fitness Lady

    August 9, 2013 at 11:47 am

    My sweet Catherine! I am sorry for your 2nd time experiencing this just as the first. I will continue to pray for you and the family! Love ya girl!

    Reply
  24. Mo at Mocadeaux

    August 9, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    Oh, Catherine, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry for your loss. I am hoping that, in some small way, this outpouring of support and concern brings you comfort.

    Reply
  25. elena

    August 9, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    found your blog through a link-up on another blog i happened to check today.

    i know you don’t know me, i don’t know you… but i do know exactly how you’re feeling.
    many hugs and prayers for peace.

    Reply
  26. Rachel

    August 9, 2013 at 7:09 pm

    I know this place. It is so hard. You are so brave to write about it here. I was never so brave. I hope that the words in these comments are lifting you up, and giving you strength to get through this period.

    Reply
  27. Sarah

    August 9, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    I am so so so sorry for your loss! I wish I had words of comfort, but I understand there are none. Praying for you tonight.

    Reply
  28. JDaniel4's Mom

    August 10, 2013 at 3:42 am

    I am so sorry! I waited so long to have my son. I remember just longing to be a mom.

    Reply
  29. Katie E

    August 10, 2013 at 4:44 am

    So sorry for your loss, Catherine. No one should have to experience this loss even once. Thinking of you.

    Reply
  30. Yvonne Chase

    August 10, 2013 at 7:12 am

    Cathy,

    So sorry you’re going through this again. Hugs and prayers to you and Dean.

    As I read this, I was reminded of my friend Dave and his wife who experienced miscarriage after miscarriage. They thought they couldn’t have children naturally. While looking into invitro and other options, God blessed them with one son naturally and then another a couple of years later.

    Yesterday I tweeted something that I believe with every fiber of my being; “Everything in life is all about timing.” Let go and let God! He knows what’s best.

    Reply
  31. Jeanine

    August 10, 2013 at 7:56 am

    I am so, so sorry to hear this. Sending my thoughts and prayers as someone who has gone through same. Take good care of yourself, rest and be assured that you will have your time filled with little ones.

    Reply
  32. Kesha of We Got Kidz

    August 10, 2013 at 8:33 am

    So sorry to hear of your loss. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through; but I’m confident that God has a plan for you. Breath. Take your time to grieve. And move forward as a family when you’re ready. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Reply
  33. Ellen

    August 10, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    Catherine, I am so sorry you are going through this. I can’t imagine how hurtful this must feel. But I will share the experiences I’ve had with my clients. I become very close to the women whose nursery’s I design. Being a mom myself, we share a lot. I swear to you if I haven’t had at least 200 women in my years of experience tell me that they went through miscarriages as I was working on their first baby’s nursery. And even more crazy, at least 50 of them had me design for their 3rd, 4th, even a few 5th babies. I would never have believed it if I didn’t experience it. They went through so much to have their first, sometimes several years of trying. And then it was like they opened the flood gates. No one can predict your future or why this happens. But know that you are not alone. And the babies you are meant to have no matter when they come or where they come from will be the little people you are meant to spend your days with.

    Reply
  34. Kate

    August 10, 2013 at 8:55 pm

    Oh Catherine… just sending hugs your way because words won’t do.

    Reply
  35. Jamy

    August 14, 2013 at 8:07 am

    I am very, very sorry, I can imagine the pain you are going through. xo.

    Reply

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