“And then when the bill came, he said we should split!” Gasps followed in the nail salon as a woman relayed to her friends her date gone wrong.
I had no right to speak, but I so wanted to tell that self-righteous woman to shut it.
One of the most important mantras I try to live by is, imagine yourself in that person’s shoes. All you single ladies, please imagine shelling out dollar after dollar and footing the bill both for yourself and your date for every single date that you go on. Yeah, that doesn’t sound like fun at all.
I remember a male friend of mine in business school telling me he just couldn’t afford to date anymore because women expected to be paid for. Mind you, we were all accruing a crapload of debt in order to get our MBAs. He figured he’d take a break from dating and take it up again once he had a full-time job.
I mean, that’s pretty sad. In fact, I think it’s pretty pathetic.
Yes, I am all for romance. And yes, if your future husband is asking you out on a first date and maybe a second or third, sure, it’s splendid if he pays.
But when it’s clear there is no future, I feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with a man asking the woman to split the friggin bill. Not only is it honest, but it is an absolute death knell for single women who often times can be clueless. I say this because I’ve been there. How many times did I wonder why he wasn’t calling. I was sure he was too busy with work. He must have gotten into an accident. But if the guy had only said, “Let’s split,” then I would have stopped pretending that there was potential. I would have known immediately and properly that there were no romantic intentions.
In this day and age when women expect to be treated fairly, when they are scratching their heads as to why there aren’t more of them in the board room, I say, work hard and pay your fair share. There wasn’t a time when a man paid for me, where on the second date, I didn’t offer to pay the full amount. That’s what’s right and morale. You wouldn’t ask a friend to keep paying for every single dinner, why should you expect that of a date? It’s called self respect. Take care of yourself and only then will a man take care of you.