I’m starting to lose hope because nothing seems to be working. All the acupuncture, vitamins, gluten-free, sugar-free, fun-free eating hasn’t helped a damn bit. How do I know all this hocus pocus crap doesn’t work? Because I haven’t gotten my period since the beginning of the year. That’s right, people, since the beginning of the year.
Bottom line is that my menstruation was more regular when I didn’t do all of the above things that the doctors and the acupuncturists and the dietitian told me to do. I should have simply done nothing, lived my life normally, pigged out like I usually do, and I would have been better off!
Mostly, I’ve been an emotional wreck because I can’t do the little things that make me happy. And isn’t it always about the little things? Hot chocolate in the morning, ice-cream in the afternoon, chocolate chip cookies for dinner? Also, these “remedies” aren’t cheap. When I can’t eat $2 Lean Cuisines because I need to eat a meal that’s warm and fresh and gluten-free, that shit costs money! I’ve spent at least 10x more on food in the past couple months that I would on a normal basis.
I’ve scheduled a call for both of us to talk to a reproductive endocrinologist in a couple weeks and hash through our options. I know what he’s going to say because he said it last time I got spritzed with semen. “Have you thought about IVF?”
Well of course I’ve thought about IVF, doctor. Duh, it’s all women my age do these days, so yes I’ve thought about it. Whether I want to consider it is a whole different story.
But after all the above rigmarole that has tortured my lifestyle, I started to do some research.
What I read made me physically ill. Let me copy some of those sentences from my IVF informational packet here.
One remedy for multiple pregnancy is (multi)fetal reduction. Multifetal reduction is the process of eliminating one or more fetuses if you become pregnant with a multiple pregnancy. Fetal reduction is generally carried out at 10 to 13 weeks’ gestation. The pregnancies are visualized on ultrasound and the gestational sac that is technically easiest to reach is injected with potassium chloride, which will stop the fetus’s heart. After fetal reduction there is a possibility of losing the entire pregnancy that is thought to range from 2 to 5%.
If your treatment cycle results in more healthy preembryos than can safely be transferred to your uterus you will have several options: 1) cryopreserve the preembryos for future use, 2) donate preembryos to another couple, 3) donate the preembryos for research, or 4) discard the preembryos.
I know we live in a scientifically advanced world, but IVF does not ethically feel right for me. I know many others do it, but I cannot wrap my head around it for me personally. It’s kinda like how I feel about abortion; while I am pro-choice, I don’t think it’s something I could have done if I’d gotten pregnant as a teenager.
Anyhow, just a little something that has been occupying my mind lately.
I understand your apprehension. Reading those statements are bothersome. I will pray for you and even if you go this route, continued prayer that you have strength to make the best decisions.
Joi! Thank you for your comment, I really needed that. Appreciate your prayer and wishing you a most joyous Easter!
Reading that, I’m not sure I could have gone through with something like that either. Saying a prayer for you! Good luck!
michelle, thank you so much for commenting and praying for me. wishing you a wonderful weekend!
Thank you for posting your heart on this subject. I have to say I am with you! The more I learn about IVF the more I dislike it. I am so happy people are able to get babies, but what about the others….the other babies that get created and never used. It hurts my heart to think about them. I was blessed with children, but it was only after 2 years of trying and multiple (natural) miscarriages. I will say a special prayer for you!
ashley, thank you so much for your support. i remember reading novels and watching movies on futuristic topics, thinking how unbelievable and implausible certain things were, and here we are now, doing the impossible. to me, it just seems so wrong to manufacture humans this way. we have become a society of instant gratification. i pray that there is another way for me. thank you for commenting!
That does feel very backward, when what you are trying to accomplish with IVF is to bring life into the world.
Praying for you to have wisdom moving forward, and peace in the midst.
hi tracie, thank you for your prayers!! i don’t think people really understand all of the ramifications of IVF. they just want a child so badly, that they’ll do anything. i want a child too, but it seems so wrong to manufacture them this way. i very much appreciate your support.
Catherine, the home remedies and this healthier lifestyle that you’ve been leading lately are all fine and everything but they wont work if your heart isn’t in it. In other words, if these things are stressing you out, making you feel deprived and unhappy then stop and go back to what was making you feel good. Pregnancy takes time, sometimes, so be patient, and don’t stress about it because that’s the worst thing that you can do.