Kid$$$

I don’t have kids of my own so I don’t know how expensive they can be. Yeah, I hear about these costs: nannies, day care, diapers, strollers. But I don’t really understand the big picture and probably never will until we have one. I mean, we don’t even have a kid and this supposed child is costing us a fortune in health care.

We spent a couple hours last weekend babysitting my 2 nephews while my sister and brother-in-law attended a performance at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. The boys wanted to go bowling so off we went. One hour of bowling and 4 pairs of shoes to rent cost $51. That was for one hour! I was like, “Holy shit, these kids are expensive.” No volume discount, no reduced kids rate.

A friend of ours once told me, “Don’t ever let people tell you that the more kids you have, the cheaper it gets. It’s simply not true. When they go to summer school, that’s 3 times the price. (She has 3 kids.) When they go to camp, that’s 3 times the price. I will be paying 3 times everything until they are out of college!” That is great advice. Dean and I can only afford one.

After bowling, we spent quite a bit of time at the YBCA playground which is probably the best playground I’ve ever gone to in my life. The whole playground is built on this bouncy rubbery material so if you fall, it doesn’t hurt. There’s a fountain that trickles along the sand box so you’ve got water right there to build whatever your heart desires. The slides looked fierce. Kids of all ages were having fun. And the best part? There is a lifeguard. No joke, a lifeguard. When a kid fell over and started crying, the lifeguard was on hand to dole out ice and make the kid feel better. The lifeguard rolled hoola hoops out of the closet for kids to play with. When there wasn’t anything going on, the lifeguard was walking the perimeter picking up trash. Dean and I congratulated him on doing such an unbelievable job.

Ok, that was the free part. Then we got ice-cream. No volume discount. No baby scoops. 4 scoops at $3.25 each. After ice-cream, the kids were intent on finding the arcade. Luckily, that’s when my sister called to say the show was over.

“Sorry kids, it’s time for you to go home!”