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Who is Your Favorite Child?

After we left the museum, we headed to the famous Toy Boat dessert place in the Richmond because I had to satisfy my daily ice-cream craving. It really is getting out of hand. This is why I don’t allow us to buy anything sweet when we go grocery shopping. As soon as it’s in the house, it’s consumed. I have no self-control.

While enjoying two scoops of vanilla-peanut butter-cookie, I noticed an interesting dynamic. White grandparents were there with their three toddler grandchildren. The three kids–two girls and one boy–didn’t look like siblings. They looked more like cousins because they had different features, yet they were all half white, half chinese. I don’t know if any of you have been to Toy Boat, but there’s a plastic mechanical horse smack in the middle of the store that you can ride for a few quarters. One of the girls was riding it the whole time. When it stopped, she cried, “Again, again!” Grandpa was on-hand to reinsert more coins. What’s sad is that the other kids wanted to ride too, but never got a chance. The other girl even tried to climb from behind, but couldn’t mount it.

The family gets ready to leave as I mention to Dean that grandpa clearly has a favorite. He only works on putting her jacket on, then—get this—he nuzzles her nose with his own, clutches her hand, then leads her out, leaving his wife and other two grandkids trailing behind him!

While I find the grandfather’s behavior a little unnerving, it actually makes quite a bit of sense to me how grandparents have favorites. They’re one generation removed. There are typically more grandchildren than children and in larger groups, you’re bound to have preferences. Saying you have a favorite grandchild is a lot more acceptable than saying you have a favorite child. But favorites among children has always been a fascinating topic for me. Probably because I was always so shocked when my friends said that they were their mom’s or dad’s favorite.

“How do you know?”

“You just know.”

My parents have always reiterated their equal love stance and their actions proved it. I can’t imagine growing up in a household where there were favorites, but then again, there were only two of us. Anyway have any thoughts from their own experiences?

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09.26.12

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Welcome to my site, derived from an advice column I wrote while getting my MBA. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. I give helpful, opinionated advice based on my own experience and from the expertise of my extensive network. For more, click here.

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