It’s good Leap Year only comes around every four years because on the 29th I got some news that twisted me into a depressed state that I could not mentally unwind from no matter how hard I tried. My comp numbers came out and they were so off-target and so far from what I believed I’d be getting that I totally crumbled. I lost my appetite. I had to force myself to take a few bites for lunch. I couldn’t sleep. I became agitated, anxious, angry.
I went for an extended run which made me feel better. I kept thinking that if I were in a race, I’d run a personal best. I was in so much pain emotionally that I couldn’t detect any exhaustion. I could run faster and forever.
I was mad at myself for being the type of person whose happiness is linked to her career. Why can’t I be one of those people who shrugs her shoulders, is grateful for what she has, then moves on?
No amount of positive thinking could help. That was my Lenten vow and it all went to shit. But time heals. I needed the weekend to drink heavily, sleep in, hang out with friends, and enjoy the warmth of spring.