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When Your Friends Break Up with Your Friends

How many of you have been heartbroken to find out your friends who were a couple go splitsville? I’m not referring to those people who go from one fling to another. I’m talking about your friend who has a significant other, that significant other becomes your friend too. All’s well…until it doesn’t end well.

Ever wonder why it’s called a break-up when it’s more like a break-down, or let-down depending on who’s doing the breaking up.

Your original friend starts hinting that she wants you to defriend her ex-boyfriend. She makes it clear that her friends are off-limits. Is recess around the corner because I didn’t think we acted like that in our mid-thirties!

I am friends with a broken-up couple who had a lot to vent about. Over drinks, he said, “She was cheating on me, you know? That bitch was cheating on me with someone she said was a good friend. I’m so glad I’m done with her.”

Over coffee, she said, “He was paranoid. He thought I was cheating on him with one of my best friends. Really jealous. He had major self-esteem issues.”

If it weren’t so tragic, breakups would be comical. What is very tragic is when your broken-up friend starts dating someone no one likes. And you can’t help but compare the new guy to the old guy. And you’re like, what is she thinking? This new guy is a major trade-down. How can I say this diplomatically, your new boyfriend is a loser! Then they get married and you’re like, doh, forget what I said about your husband. All that’s in the past.

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06.15.11

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Welcome to my site, derived from an advice column I wrote while getting my MBA. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. I give helpful, opinionated advice based on my own experience and from the expertise of my extensive network. For more, click here.

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