I’d say that every other day I find out a friend of mine is either pregnant or just had a baby. It is driving me bananas! And not in the Rachel Zoe that’s cool bananas kind of way. At this moment, I can name five married couples who have yet to procreate. Only five. Like the number five that you can count on one hand. Keep in mind that my network is quite extensive.
Pregnancy is a time to celebrate right? As long as we’re not in high school with a baby daddy who works at a fast food chain. But all of these birth announcements puts me in a foul mood. I guess because I’m not there yet and it also makes me think…Is there something wrong with me that I don’t want a baby right now.
Like at this very moment, women are excited about a big fat tummy and eating Chips Ahoy and having the birthing pool installed in the living room. Really? I find it all frightening!
Do people not want to spend some time with their spouse first before adding an intrusive third party? I guess not. Most of the people I know who are pregnant or just had babies, married within the past year. Within the past year! It’s like they were romping around to have a baby even before they had a rock on their finger. Are women that desperate that the baby comes before a relationship?
Am I in the minority? That’s why I’m venting. Because I’m the only one who thinks logically anymore.
Heh. You know, when we got married and people began asking when we were going to have kids, I said, “You shouldn’t assume we’re going to have kids just because we got married.” Never that we weren’t going to, just that people shouldn’t make the assumption. As a result, everyone was SHOCKED four years later when we told them I was pregnant. My sister-in-law actually swore that I was adamant that we weren’t going to have kids, which I know not to be true – because I remember choosing my words very carefully in order to keep all options open. Anyway, I’m with you – SO glad we took time to enjoy life as a married couple before procreating.
(Also, why do I feel like I’m commenting on your blog CONSTANTLY lately? You’ve clearly got me thinking about stuff!)
I am with you. It has taken me a long time to reconcile on having a baby (at least 15 years). My husband and I have been married for two years and been together three years and it has taken us all that time to figure out that we were potentially ready for kids. Regardless of time, having children is still a frightening thought. There is so much to consider from thoughts of “omg .. am I going to be a good mother?” to thoughts of the invasion of preganancy on my body.
I love the active dialog. I’m so glad someone’s actually reading what I write!
i know we got married (relatively) young but we are glad we waited 5 years to have kids. well, unlike mcm above, we actually did not want to have kids for the first 2 years, then we decided to make sure we were ready.
but i can see both sides. if you know what you want, you don’t have to look at kids vs. happiness as an either/or proposition.
i did attend a talk last week and loved what the author (wendy mogel) said: as a parent it is your job to make sure your kids see you enjoying your life. because if you don’t, they will not want to become adults, will not want to have kids, and, thus, you won’t have the opportunity for a grandparent/grandchild relationship.
the next morning I made sure to tell my kids how much fun i had with my gal pals over dessert after the talk vs. telling them i was “at a meeting.”
🙂
Hi Just browsing the personal blogs for BYW. Glad we are taking the class together! this post was calling for a response from me….
my husband and i have been together for 12 years and we are now pregnant with baby #1. yes we wont be the youngest parents (ha! im 37), but i have traveled the world over and my husband and i have had PLENTY of quality time hanging out together. great times, just the two of us. the baby will definitely not be an intruder on our relationship, we are old enough to never feel like we are missing out on something by staying home with the baby or feeling tied down.
We always knew we would have kids, but we were never in a rush (obviously) point is, everyone has the “mom” calling at different times.(if at all) dont ever allow pressure. do it when it feels right.