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Worst Physical Shape of My Life

The two highlights of my day: 1) Dean bought me exotic flowers. They’re bright-colored, pretty, and look poisonous! 2) Dean let me drink Provenance wine tonight. He wouldn’t let me drink last night, but he acquiesced tonight. I can’t smell it because I’m congested, but it still makes me happy.

Yes, I’m super bummed that it looks like I won’t be able to run a race on Sunday. It kills me even more because I paid for that shit. But I’ll get over it quickly because I’ll damn well sign myself up for the next most convenient race.

I’m sick. In my excitement to head to Tahoe for the weekend, I came down with a fever. I was raging red by the time I got up to the cabin. We also had Jack-in-the-Crack for dinner and it’s not like me to push away half of my chicken strips. That’s a big problem!

Then there’s the fall that momentarily paralyzed and has since handicapped me. I might as well carry a pink plastic thank you bag with a beheaded chicken inside because I look like an old hunched-over Chinese lady. I can’t figure out my meds. I get sleepy when I take them so I’m damned if I do, and in fucking pain if I don’t.

To end my day, I had my annual eye checkup. I am going blind! The vision in my right eye has deteriorated. The cornea in my left eye is flattening, causing my astigmatism to worsen. You can’t treat an astigmatism with an increased prescription so instead I have to test various torque contact lenses. Magnificent!

But I’m alive and there is no snowstorm in the Bay Area. There’s no dictatorship, no nation-wide protests. I’m sheltered, loved, and enjoying the healing power of wine.

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01.30.11

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Welcome to my site, derived from an advice column I wrote while getting my MBA. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. I give helpful, opinionated advice based on my own experience and from the expertise of my extensive network. For more, click here.

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  • Blogging
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