Wanted: Personal Assistant

I swear once I poop out a baby, I will need a nanny, au pair, or some form of round-the-clock care because I don’t have enough hours in the day as it is. I have no kids. I do not cook. Yet I’m constantly running around and in need of a vacation badly! Didn’t I just return from vacation? That is how stressed I am. I already need another vacation.

Dean and I were so tired this weekend that we passed out at my parents’ house even with football in the background. I must have complete silence when I sleep, but I could’ve slept through blaring sirens. We napped for a solid hour.

We are redecorating our home which sounds easy, but then you have to move shit out to make room for the new shit. You gotta figure out how to get the bulky furniture pieces up two flights of stairs.

My longest set of tenants (almost six months) moved out this morning. I left work early to sort through their crap. When you rent out a fully-furnished apartment, your tenants will always leave stuff behind–chips, cookies, spices, shampoo, butter, milk, cereal. My first tenant left her crutches. Someone left a TV. This one left four tennis balls. While I was sorting through the stuff, professional cleaners came in. My handyman also arrived to help me with a few tasks. I got a workout running up and down the stairs from my place to the storage room in the basement, trying to organize so much shit. I am not a pack rat. I live quite simply, but I still have so much stuff–Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, pillows, binders of school work, clothes, picture frames, purses, hundreds of books and magazines. I need to have a garage sale!

Then there’s a vacation to plan. I’m so overwhelmed with the exorbitant airline costs. Major sticker shock. Flying to Santiago, I can deal with that expense. The short one-hour, intra-country flights cost more than a roundtrip to JFK. Then double that for my husband. I used to make fun of people who haven’t explored the world. No wonder…it’s too expensive. I get it now! I understand why most Americans opt for a staycation. So much more practical.