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I Want to Be a Fuckup

IMG_3646I’m sitting here peacefully on the shitter, typing away after a long day at work, drinking a glass of really damn good wine.  Our neighbor friend bartender said he discovered a rare deal (i.e., $2.98) for a bottle of Merlot at a local convenience store.  I swear to God this wine is better than the $40 bottles we just had at the Mark Hopkins.  This is so carmelly and smooth.  It’s like liquid happiness.  I told Dean to go there tomorrow and buy out their inventory for the wedding.  It’s that good!

It’s been a long, hard work week already.  Tonight, someone said, “Catherine, you’ve been such a dynamo to work with.  I don’t know what we would have done without you.”  That made it all better.  That’s all it takes.  It’s not about money or an incentive comp plan.  All I need to know is that I’m appreciated.  I’m so thankful for her kind words.  I was like, halleulujah, someone who doesn’t think I’m a fuckup.

I always tell people, “Good job.  Perfect.  Thank you so much for your hard work.  You are a rockstar.  Grazie!”  Yet I hear it so rarely.  And I know I do a good job.  I’m juggling so many things at once, I’m surprised more things don’t fall through the cracks. But as soon as something does, I hear, “Catherine, you need to be more careful.  Your attention to detail could be improved.”  It’s demeaning.  It makes me think, ‘why do I even care?’

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05.11.10

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  1. Krimey

    May 13, 2010 at 9:34 am

    it’s so interesting you brought this up.

    i used to think ‘oh, people with high self-esteem are the ones who give compliments. not (below-)average people like me.’ on some level i figured people wouldn’t really think it was a compliment coming from me, so i never did it. then one day i realized EVERYONE likes/wants/needs to hear they are appreciated. after that i looked for reasons to single people out, notice the ways they were unique. interestingly, taking on that role GAVE me greater self-esteem!

    so in this roundabout way i guess i’m saying, perhaps you can take it as a compliment that you are not being complimented…that people think you’re so good at what you do that you don’t need to hear it from little ol’ them.

    ???

    have a great day ROCKSTAR!!

    Reply

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Welcome to my site, derived from an advice column I wrote while getting my MBA. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. I give helpful, opinionated advice based on my own experience and from the expertise of my extensive network. For more, click here.

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