I do not know a single person who has gotten a prenup. Consider, too, that my network is vast. If there’s anyone out there reading this who has gotten one, please contact me.
There are a few reasons to get a prenup: 1) You’re a major celebrity like Tiger Woods, 2) You stand to inherit billions like Athina Roussel who is the sole heir to the Onassis fortune, or 3) You own property. I fall into the last category. Not only that, I have built up my own little nest egg that is mine. Not my husband’s. Not community property. It is my hard-earned money.
I’ve consulted many friends regarding this–friends with inheritances, friends who came in with a lot of money, friends who had property. Across the board, they did not put together a prenup. Further, they questioned, “Do you really want to bring up the topic?” I’ve gone back and forth and figured that I didn’t really care. I agreed. Why bring it up anyway? What’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.
But then a friend of mine put me to the test during drinks the other day. It really made me rethink the issue. He asked, “Let’s say you were marrying someone who came into the marriage with a lot of money. Then he asked you to sign a prenup. What would you say? Would you be offended?”
I shook my head. “I would absolutely not be offended. What’s his money is his money. I’d have no problem signing a prenup.”
“Then there’s your answer.”
i disagree. my belief is that in general there should not be a prenup if it is a first marriage (and i suppose the billionaires of the world too.) alternatively, i think there should always be a prenup with any subsequent marriage or if kids from another relationship are involved.
having said that, you joke (?) quite a bit about divorce. only you know in your heart if you plan to do what it takes to make this marriage work. if you don't then, by all means, get the prenup.
this post reminds me of something i read on your blog many moons ago. that lady you met on the airplane. (i went back to cut & paste) 🙂
"A household isn’t about 50-50. People who believe that are on their way to getting a divorce. Do you want to be a statistic? You have to give 100%. 100%! You’ll be surprised at how much you get back if you give it everything you’ve got."
it must be bed time — i forgot to check for grammatical errors above. sorry! you get the idea 🙂
Agreed, Krimey. I wrote that post and have been thinking about it ever since. Property and money are nothing in the grand scheme of things, especially when it comes to a lifetime of marriage. Thank you for the reminder and for the quote from the past. You and that woman are both wise.
Prenup all the way. You didn’t build it together, there is not reason you should share it if it doesn’t work out. Give me a check for 50% of your toys if you’re that uninterested in keeping your goodies.
GREAT SITE!!!