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Catherine Gacad

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The Aftermath

The worst thing about getting into a fight is the festering.  Dean and I have these grievances about one another, our living situation, our schedule that come out as extra ammunition when an argument ensues.  Our voices get louder.  Soon enough, we’re screaming at each other, then all the pent up irritation escapes into one big bang! We got into a huge fight Wednesday night.

On Friday, a dozen red roses were sent to my office.  Dean picked me up from work and we sat down at home and really talked.  We talked about what was working, what wasn’t working, and how to resolve our issues.  We went through each one.  

I’m not bothered that we’re a middle-aged soon-to-be married couple living in a studio apartment, but I am really aggravated when I work a 15+ hour day and his friends who live in the building are at our place eating, drinking, pumping the MTV videos so loudly I’m surprised no one’s complained, and they refuse to leave.  That’s the night our fight erupted.  We jointly decided it’s finally time to move out, ideally into a new neighborhood close to a park so we can get the puppy I’ve always wanted.

After talking our issues over, we had an incredible date night to make up for the past couple days of misery.  We went to the newly-opened Plant Cafe on the Embarcadero, blissfully starting off with champagne and oysters.  The food was incredible: fresh, organic, tasty.  We ended the night at the Embarcadero cinema to watch The Damned United movie about a soccer manager seeking revenge on his nemesis.  I picked a jackpot of a movie.  It was a well-paced, heartfelt movie that Dean can’t stop talking about.
At my age, romances tend to be on the fast-track.  You’re older, you both know what you want, you both love each other, and it just clicks. But because of the shortened timeframe, you’re still getting to know each other, questioning the future.  Of course, I will always wonder, is this the person I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with?  I assume even married couples wonder that every once in a while.  My answer is…All I know is that I wouldn’t want to spend my life with anyone else.

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10.23.09

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Welcome to my site, derived from an advice column I wrote while getting my MBA. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. I give helpful, opinionated advice based on my own experience and from the expertise of my extensive network. For more, click here.

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