I don’t feel like writing. Dean and I got into a fight last night. So I’ll post his email to me today.
Better Homes & Gardens
I appreciate the note; and feel the same. Issues will come and go; shrink and grow. Our differences are the common denominator of all couples: Adam & Eve; Romeo & Juliette and Scarlett Hara and Rhett Butler… and you know how those Romantic Comedies ended, eh?
I’m confident that we can do better, because “Frankly, I give a Damn!” I’m starting to see what’s important isn’t how much we’re alike; rather, it’s how well we work together. In other words, we’ll never reach our lofty rooftop goals of a lifetime marriage, kids, etc., if we don’t better manage fundamental, day-to-day problems along the common clay.
A happy home is shelter and comfort for better or for worse, in sickness and in health begins. It begins with love, the mortar that holds the bricks together. It last, because we break soil with a strong foundation.
Recognize the “Me” in “We.”
They say there’s no “I” in “Team,” but the better “You” communicate any essential needs, the better “We” can adopt them into “Us.” Without “You,” there is no “Us” aka “Emotional Transfer.” So, whether it’s driving or sleeping or artery camp let’s keep an open mind and dialog and try to find “Our” way – the Dao of Catherine & Dean. Our union will be as unique as we are individually.
Apple doesn’t fall so far from the Tree.
Neither one of us wants to be like their parents; yet, if we look into the mirror, you’ll see our respective mom or dad looking back in the reflection. Moving forward, we need to better recognize and exorcise these primordial parental demons, so our kids don’t grow up to repeat the cycle.
Expectations vs Love.
“We” need “You” to love “Me.” I’m not saying that you are operating from a generic checklist, but I’m never going to be the most popular item at “Build-a-Bear.” Perfect, I’m not. Let’s just say, I’m a Fixer Upper with a great Location, Location, Location. It’s gonna take a lot of Love and Perspiration to Build This Home. Hopefully, you’re down for the toils, spoils and labor of love.
I’m just saying that even if I could read your mind, chances are that I wouldn’t be able to measure up. There’s always someone is taller, smarter, richer, newer. Only, he’ll never be me, and hopefully that enough.
I know I’m not a big burner, big earner, but I am a quick learner and willing to work harder, smarter as well as compromise. Already, I feel that I’ve begun to reconcile my selfish single days of friends, shopping and boozing and embrace our shared blueprint for family, saving and date nights with you!
I’m confident that we’ve kissed enough frogs to know our fairy tale doesn’t have to be a perfect fit. It takes love and dedication. Two things I’ll never run in short supply. I believe you’re my princess. I believe we’re meant to be. I’ll move heaven and earth to see us through. It would be a careless shame, not to do our level best.