The latest edition of San Francisco magazine features an article on my former matchmaker. In my matchmaker’s last newsletter, she mentioned how they were looking forward to the article—with no clue on the final outcome. I’ve been checking the magazine kiosk at the Bank of America building across the street every day, waiting anxiously as well. I wanted to know what an outside reporter thought. Well, I thought she did a great job. Her writing was witty and insightful. What it lacked, however, was more probing. While the article focused on one man’s experience, I felt like she needed a female perspective which is where I come in of course! The whole process is so fascinating, I constantly flirt with the idea of writing an article myself on the matchmaking experience. One of these days, I’ll get on it.
But for now, I wanted to write this post specifically for my single readers. In the hubbub of all this wedding planning, I think of how I was single not too long ago. I was in your shoes. Some days I hated it, but some days I really loved it. I loved going out and doing my own thing without having to report to anybody. I loved having my very own place where I could sit on the toilet for a few hours reading a book or magazine. I loved blogging about my disastrous dates. At least readers could appreciate my misery.
Then over time, I decided that the single lifestyle wasn’t for me anymore. I really wanted to be with someone. So I did everything I could. I did the online sites. I asked friends if they knew anyone–no pressure, just asking. Soon enough, every 3rd or 4th date was a setup. I went out all the time. I got dressed up and made an effort to have a great time–even by myself. I went to social functions without knowing a soul. I even entertained the idea of organized sports. Me—the blind Asian girl with the worst hand-eye coordination ever. I went to lectures at the Commonwealth Club. I went to every new restaurant and bar opening.
I put an end to the guys who were recycling me. Because as much as you think you can handle it, you cannot.
And lastly, I put my money where my mouth was and spent a portion of my bonus to hire a $5,000 matchmaker. As a frugal person who has worked hard my whole life to put myself through school, writing that check did not come without a lot of due diligence, a lot of soul searching, and a lot of faith. Several of the matches were duds, but I did meet one great guy (Shout out to BH–maybe you’re reading this?) who cooked dinner and made me laugh…a lot.
I liked that we came from different worlds. “Never heard of the University of Chicago. Is it a good school?” I thought he was being sarcastic. He was not. I liked that he wasn’t someone I would have picked out for myself. It made me think the matchmaker sorta knew what she was doing. She told me to take my blog down and after much angst, I realized she was right. No guy wants to be with a girl who blogs about her dating life.
When I hired my matchmaker, I had laughed to myself, “How ironic would it be if I spent all that money on the matchmaker and found my partner through another route.” That’s eventually what happened. But it was all worth it. I didn’t do it blindly and I will say that—without a doubt—I knew that within 18 months of writing that check, I was going to be in a committed relationship. After exerting every ounce of effort, after looking into all my options, I knew that the world would conspire to find me my soul mate. I didn’t know whether it would be through the matchmaker or some other avenue, but I knew I’d find someone.
And he is worth every penny.