The cards and emails read, “This will be the best time of your life. Enjoy!”
Instead, I’m miserable. I didn’t feel this way until I started to dig into the numbers. My friends comment, “You look so unhappy. Look at how you’re sitting.”
My arms are crossed and I’m glaring, trying to take it all in. I can’t stop thinking about it. My face is overheating. When did it become ok to spend so much money? My mental calculator is on fire.
What if I posed it this way? I want every bride out there to answer this question. If you had to write a check for half of the expenses of your wedding, would you have done anything differently? As a matter of principle–not because my fiance wants me to–but as a matter of principle, I insisted on splitting the bill. I want every single bride-to-be and every former bride to tell me if she would make different decisions knowing that she was personally spending all of that money. Would you still spend several thousand dollars on flowers? Would you still spend more than several thousand dollars on a photographer? Mind you, it’s your money. Not mom and dad’s, not your husband’s…your very own money.
Tell me what you think.
That’s what I grapple with when each photographer tells me it’s going to cost at least $4,000 to document my wedding. That’s why I’m seething when the catering proposal comes in at $20,000 and it doesn’t even include an open bar.
Think, question, challenge.
We are on the cusp of signing the contract with a boutique hotel in Palm Springs. But it just wouldn’t feel right without one last final negotiation. “We’re so excited to work with you on our wedding. I’m ready to sign now if you include two nights of the hotel suite. Thanks Erin for all of your hard work on the proposal!”