Wedding Economics

I like to make the comparison between the cost of a wedding versus an MBA. Why? Because I don’t think I’ve ever thrown such gargantuan sums of money on anything except education, a home, my trusty two-door Honda Civic, and the Juicy Couture fur coat I got in NYC for 50% off. Even my beloved Apple Mac was less than a grand.

I spent less than $60,000 to get a graduate degree, affording me 3-months of living expenses with my internship, an internship bonus, sign-on bonuses, and job security. I’ll even throw in the two years of living expenses that I had to take a loan out for. So let’s add that all up to $120,000. 2 years = 730 days x 8 hours = 5,840 hours. Business school works out to $20.55 per hour. Not too shabby for lifetime job security.

The average wedding costs about $30,000. That’s 1/4 of my two-year business school experience for a single day! $30,000 divided by 8 hours works out to $3,750 per hour. Do you know what a wedding affords you? Debt. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. DEBT.

Ok, ok, so there are the memories. The lifetime memories captured within a leatherbound wedding album that you get in return for a photographer who’ll charge you $4,000. If you can’t make lifetime memories via a picnic in the park, a dinner with friends, a Thanksgiving meal, then you’ve got some serious issues.

I’ll even throw out the fact that people come from wealthier backgrounds than I do. If your family wants to celebrate your love by footing the bill, then that’s fantastic. Wish I could have been born a Getty.

When did it become acceptable in society to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding? Even for the common person? I’m not buying it. I’m not going to care if my guests think my wedding feels cheap. I don’t care if it’s tacky to holler into a bullhorn and scream, “Alrighty, peeps. One more hour until the open bar closes. Let’s drink that bar dry!”

You don’t have to throw money down the toilet to celebrate your marriage. And I’m going to prove it.