I’ve been getting a lot of questions about how big my wedding will be. I’ve said I’m willing to sacrifice guest count for the right venue. Wrong. I’m starting to flip-flop. I remember reading something that said, “If you instantly became very wealthy, would you stick around with the person that you’re with?” For a lot of the guys in my past, the answer was no. I was with them because I thought I needed a partner, because I didn’t think I could have a family on my own, because I didn’t think I could do better. Dean is different. The answer is yes. I wouldn’t mind paying all the bills and being a sugar mama because I know he loves me so much.
I asked myself the same question today. “If you instantly became very wealthy, what would your dream wedding be like?” You have to think positive, right? And if I had the resources…just like I have my dream guy, what kind of wedding would I have? I know it still would not be “fairytale-ish.” No Cinderella gown or glass carriage. Simply a rocking good time with my family and friends. I have to say…the guest count would be 200. If I had my ideal wedding, I would invite all my family and that is a lot of people.
Does anyone out there get me? Like really get me?!
The caterer says “Cut your guest count!” My neighbor says, “You should only invite people who you really want to be there.” My friends say, “Do you really know that many people?” The answer is HELL YEAH! I have a big family. I’m close to my family, too. No one seems to understand the travesty. I can’t afford it, but I want them there. That’s the dilemma.
I have a huge family too. Mr. J did not. And I had a lot of friends that I loved and Mr. J had a select few that he really wanted there.
So we were guaranteed a headcount of at least 175 people.
The compromise? Not much that I could do, besides cut a bunch of stuff I didn’t really NEED:
– party favors (no one cares)
– elaborate flowers (no one cares)
– engraved stationery with fancy lettering (it ends up in the garbage anyway)
– my dress (only I really cared)
– the cake (it was good, but wasn’t the bomb)
– the wine (decent and affordable, but we made up for it by having a top shelf open bar)
– programs were printed on red paper and were not fancy (because they end up in the trash)
– no rice or birdseed thrown, no bubbles blown
– no limos (Mr. J took a cab to the church, everyone walked from the church to the reception, thus eliminating the need for a trolley, etc.)
– no band–but spend decent $ on a DJ so I didn’t have to hear “We are Family” by sister sledge or “Shout” for the umpteenth time.
But here is a tip:
Have the printers prepare RSVP cards with two different deadlines. Send out the Reply cards with the earlier deadline to your families, as they take first priority anyway. This way you get a better handle of your numbers as you go along.
The second reply deadline is for friends. Then you can adjust depending on how many of your family members can attend.
I think our replies were spread out by 3 weeks.