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Fucking Sticker Shock

The excitement of the engagement has worn off. I am now fully in wedding planning mode and it’s not fun. Dean and I are splitting the bill exactly in half. No one is helping us. No one is gifting us with money. This is very stressful and I don’t necessarily want to take money out of my savings to pay for this. Initially, I was set on a $10,000 budget that has now been pushed out to $15,000. Dean has been really supportive. “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it. I’m making more commissions. We’re moving in together. It’s going to be fine.”

But it’s the principle of it. I spent $60,000 to go to business school. A lot of people think that was ridiculous. The average wedding in America costs $30,000. That’s the average! That’s for one day. I spent twice that amount for two years and I ended up with a graduate degree. I refuse, refuse, refuse to spend a penny more. REFUSE!

I thought it would be fine. I have whittled my venue choices down to two private estate ranches in the wine country. But I just now spoke to a caterer who was very firm. “You cannot do this for less than $100/person. Have you thought about rentals? Have you thought about additional porta-potties that need to be brought in? I have to bring in my own kitchen to cook for that many people. Catherine, there’s a lot to think about. You can’t just glibly have it at a private estate and think you’re going to save money.”

It made my head spin. “Rolando, work with me. What can I do to reduce the budget?”

“Cut your guest count.”

Ok, so the venues I have honed in on will not accommodate more than 125 for a wedding. My mother is one of ten children. My dad is one of ten children. My cousins are like my siblings. But people are going to get cut. Family and friends. It’s going to hurt financially and emotionally.

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05.20.09

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Welcome to my site, derived from an advice column I wrote while getting my MBA. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. I give helpful, opinionated advice based on my own experience and from the expertise of my extensive network. For more, click here.

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  • Travel

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