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How Do I Say Nicely that I Think You are the Biggest Loser?

One of the Brians I dated asked if I would save him a dance at this huge Burner party on Friday.

Here is our email exchange.

Brian: cool! should be fun. save me a dance?

Me: Absolutely! Brian, I have been meaning to get my thoughts out to you for some time, but thought silence was best. Figure this is an opportunity to speak up. I think you are a really great guy. You’re hot, fun, smart, so interesting. But in the end, I could not come to terms with your unemployment. It is so counter to my work ethic. catherine

Brian: wow!! well, I guess I appreciate your honesty. truth be told, I’m not terribly excited about my idle status either. I’ve been fairly successful my entire life and more than a little sideswiped by how difficult its been to get back into the land of the gainfully employed post-globetrot. unfortunately, all of my past experience was in print which is in a death spiral, so coming to terms with the fact that I need to revamp my skill set before I can move forward. believe me when I say that I’m not enjoying this either!and in an effort to maintain cordial relations, I’ll ignore your implied (or maybe it was directly suggested?) dig on my work ethic. take care

Now the question is…do I response?

I want to give it to him and say, “I’m just telling you honestly what everyone else (all your so-called friends) are saying behind your bag. If you have such a strong work ethic, then friggin go make some money whatever job that may be. If you need to bag groceries, then fucking DO IT instead of spending all day long on Facebook posting pictures, writing on people’s walls. GET A FUCKING JOB! I can’t believe that you were paying $3,000 for an apartment when you weren’t making any money at all–no severance, no unemployment, no savings. Because if you had savings then your landlord wouldn’t have started eviction proceedings on you. You make me want to vomit!”

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03.04.09

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Comments

  1. Anonymous

    March 5, 2009 at 7:30 am

    You have nothing invested in him to warrant telling him what everybody is sayign behind his back. He’s not your responsibility. You have other positive things direct your energies. It may be hard to walk away from an attempt to push somebody along or help them get back on their feet. I know the feeling.

    If you don’t respond, he’ll get the picture.

    Reply

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Welcome to my site, derived from an advice column I wrote while getting my MBA. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. I give helpful, opinionated advice based on my own experience and from the expertise of my extensive network. For more, click here.

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