There is an age-old Indian belief that each person has seven soul mates. You just have to find one of them.
I don’t know if someone told me that. I think I read it in one of my college readers for either an English or Anthropology class. But it’s something I’ve held onto for all these years. I mention it in conversations with friends who have broken up with boyfriends. I think of it now as a single person desperate to find her life-long best friend.
So to find one of those soul mates, you have to meet people. It’s tiring. It takes energy. There’s that book I read Around the World in 80 Dates. The friend who gave me that book for my birthday has been online dating for as long as I have–probably longer. She moved to LA, but came back to SF this weekend. Over brunch she giddily proclaimed, “I have a boyfriend!” And after her story, I smiled, “I met someone, too.” We agreed it’s about the volume, it’s about taking a chance and persevering.
I had my date with Jason on Tuesday. I’m happy. I’m tired. I want to rest. I want to stop dating the guys I’m currently dating. I don’t want to meet up with anyone new. But I had already agreed to separate dates on Friday and Sunday. After a long work week and holiday partying every night of the week, I didn’t want to go through with my date on Friday. I wanted to cancel, but was too much of a coward. The guy David said he had rescheduled other plans so he could meet me that night.
Begrudgingly I got ready. He called to say he was running 15 minutes late which irked me. On top of that, I have a new blackberry with a blue tooth ear piece which I’m still getting used to. I had problems connecting. I dropped the ear piece, accidentally hung up on him. It already looked like a bad start.
He beat me to the bar and when I walked in, he came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “It’s good to meet you. Let me get you a drink. What would you like?” After chatting for half an hour, then browsing an art gallery, and having Thai food, I was smitten. Tall, cute, and super smart, I was attracted to him on many different levels. He’s even a burner.
Our connection was different than what I feel for Jason. With Jason, it felt like we were in a dream, very surreal. The restaurant was packed and the waiter kept coming by, but it was just us two focused on each other and what the other had to say. With David, it was subdued, but real and grounded like any other date where two people are meeting for the first time. I liked that he kissed me on the cheek when he first saw me and I like that he gave me a kiss good-bye, ending the night with “You let me know if you want to see me again.”
Gulp…hopefully not New Year’s Eve.