I am now convinced that men cannot be friends with women. There is always some hope on someone’s part that it will eventually lead to romance. Bill and I are friends. Period. Given that our relationship is still tender, I’ve been sensitive enough to not talk about other guys.
I haven’t seen him in weeks and missed him. AS A FRIEND. So I went to his place last night for drinks. The lights were dim. He had candles flickering. And to top it off, he had Monday Night Football on his big screen TV. How romantic, huh?
The big buffoon couldn’t stop pawing me. I had to defend myself with, “Look! Stop it! I’m seeing someone alright? Look!”
I pointed at a huge black men’s Timex digital watch wrapped around my left arm.
“Whose is that?” His eyes softened. “Are you cheating on me?”
“OmiGod, Bill, are you serious? We’ve been over for so long now. I’m dating someone. This is his watch. He left it at my place this weekend.”
Anyhow, that conversation eventually took a turn for the worse which resulted in me storming off and Bill calling out behind me, “I love you.” I was so tired of his shenanigans I didn’t know whether he meant it or whether he said it sarcastically.
Today I get this email.
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 12:05 PM
To: Gacad, Catherine
Subject: about last night
I thought a lot about last night. I don’t know if you needed some time of “closure” or something to that affect. You seemed to want to personally attack me with your comments.
Not sure where this comes from or why the personal attacks. I never have done that to you. I do like you and have fun with you. YOU NEVER ONCE SAID YOU WERE INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP FROM THE START. For you to say, I said “I love you” and you really gave in is total fabrication. From the moment BEFORE we met, you wanted nothing to do with me. I am funny and we have fun. You wanted casual and you got it. Now you are trying to tell me how bummed you are that we didn’t make it. HA!
You are such a fun chick and cool. I had no idea we could have done a more serious thing. I wish you the best in your new relationship.
I am sorry if I hurt your feelings… I would never want to. I always thought we were casual and fun loving.
I wish you the best. And I am not mad at you for being a HUGE hypocrite.
I still want you to be apart of my company. I just don’t appreciate getting yelled at on a Monday night when you are such a better cuddler.
Here was my response.
From: Gacad, Catherine
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 12:31 PM
Subject: RE: about last night
i wasn’t looking for closure. i just wanted to hang out with my friend. clearly we had been hanging out ‘casually’ all along even though you professed your love for me on numerous occasions. now i know not to take anything you say at face value. that said, i will disregard your negative comments below.
i would hope that we could continue to be friends. i actually think we make really good friends…except for you constantly exposing yourself. but you made it clear last night that guys don’t want women friends so now i know.
all the best,
For my own closure, I didn’t like Bill at first. He wooed me with his funny, witty antics. I couldn’t stop laughing around him. Then he threw in a couple ‘I Love You’s’ and I was totally smitten. But now that I’ve gotten to know him better (he spends almost all his free time watching TV), I know it wouldn’t work out. We are also from very different social classes which I struggle with. I don’t mind marrying rich, but I mind marrying someone who only hangs out with rich white people. Diversify, buddy. Try befriending a Latino person for once in your life.
But I think we have a chance. I hope it’s so. I love him like a friend.