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We Are Done!

I was dating ten guys.  The number is dwindling.  Given my work situation and my stress levels, I am highly irritable.  I’ve been lashing out at all of them.  Not paying enough attention.  And even when I do, it’s not good attention.  “I’m sorry, I just don’t have time.  I’ll call you in a week, ok? I’m really busy.”  That’s the amount of attention I have to give.  

I adore Love Fest–San Francisco’s rendition of the Berlin-based Love Parade.  I couldn’t go this year because of Benicio’s christening at 4:15pm followed by a reception at the church’s gymnasium.  But I couldn’t resist the late night after-parties.  I took the opportunity to mass-text all my dates.  I would just process and figure out a strategy once I heard back.
First up: one of the Brians.  I am dating four Brians which makes my dating life a tad bit easier…or so I thought.  This Brian said he wouldn’t be able to make it.  He was at a private party.
Next up: the uber-smart, but always says the wrong things Marcus.  On our first date, like a little kid, he gasped, “Wow, you are really short.”  My eyes squinted to half their size as I stared at him evilly.  
“Yes, I’m here at Temple.  2nd floor.  Come meet me!”
Returning to bat:  Brian.  “I’m at this private party on Cesar Chavez.  Come find me.  I will come out and get you.”
I texted happily, “I am with my friends right now.  We are headed to the Anon Salon party.  But I will text you in a bit.  I want you to come home with me tonight.”
After I hit send, my heart skipped a beat.  I started to panic.  I hadn’t been paying attention.  I reviewed my text messages and my outbox.  I had made a mistake.  The whole time I had Brian #1 on the brain…not realizing that another Brian (let’s call him Brian #2) had swooped in.  Even though it was clearly Brian #2’s name on the texts, I had assumed from the beginning I had only been texting Brian #1.
ABORT, ABORT!  I didn’t want to spend the rest of my night with Brian #2.  We were still early on in our relationship.  We had only kissed once.  They were pity kisses for helping me clean up after a party I had thrown.  Brian #1 was the one I really liked.
My chest heaved in and out.  Oh, what to do.  What to do.
Brian #2 sent a giddy follow-up.  “Is my Vixen a little horny girl?”
I immediately followed up.  “Ummm, excuse me?  I find that totally offensive.  Have a good night.  See you another time.”
I was saved.  He continued to text and call throughout the night.  “Sweetheart, I’m sorry.  You know I didn’t mean that.  I think you’re the coolest, greatest girl ever.  I didn’t mean that to be offensive.  I was just playing.  Please, don’t be mad about that.  You know I really truly care about you.”
I continued to party and dance with my friends throughout the night.  
I got back to Marcus.  “The line at Temple is so long (I lied.).”
“Do you want me to come out and see if I can help?  I was just out there talking to the security guard.  I sent a girl home in a taxi.”
“Oh no.  It’s ok.  We are going to take off and go to another party.”
“We???  Are you with a date?”
“Hmmm.  You just sent a girl home.  Was she not a date?”
“I won’t respond to that.  Anyhow, I sent her home.”
I smiled as I fired back, “You shouldn’t have.  My date and I are going to another party.”
The fury lit up my cell phone.  “WHATEFFA!!!”
At 4am, I decided to get back to Brian #2 after all of his apologetic pleas.  “I can’t help that you’re an asshole.”
This was the last text/communication of the night.  “Really?  wow?  ok.  that’s that.  thxs for making that clear.  we are done.  good luck.”

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10.05.08

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Comments

  1. Krimey

    October 6, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    oh man, it’s postings like this that i vow yet again to stop reading your blog…

    but of course i never do…

    please be more kind to your fellow human beings. yes, they are part of your story, but they’re not ONLY part of your story.

    Reply

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Welcome to my site, derived from an advice column I wrote while getting my MBA. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. I give helpful, opinionated advice based on my own experience and from the expertise of my extensive network. For more, click here.

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