I was dating ten guys. The number is dwindling. Given my work situation and my stress levels, I am highly irritable. I’ve been lashing out at all of them. Not paying enough attention. And even when I do, it’s not good attention. “I’m sorry, I just don’t have time. I’ll call you in a week, ok? I’m really busy.” That’s the amount of attention I have to give.
I adore Love Fest–San Francisco’s rendition of the Berlin-based Love Parade. I couldn’t go this year because of Benicio’s christening at 4:15pm followed by a reception at the church’s gymnasium. But I couldn’t resist the late night after-parties. I took the opportunity to mass-text all my dates. I would just process and figure out a strategy once I heard back.
First up: one of the Brians. I am dating four Brians which makes my dating life a tad bit easier…or so I thought. This Brian said he wouldn’t be able to make it. He was at a private party.
Next up: the uber-smart, but always says the wrong things Marcus. On our first date, like a little kid, he gasped, “Wow, you are really short.” My eyes squinted to half their size as I stared at him evilly.
“Yes, I’m here at Temple. 2nd floor. Come meet me!”
Returning to bat: Brian. “I’m at this private party on Cesar Chavez. Come find me. I will come out and get you.”
I texted happily, “I am with my friends right now. We are headed to the Anon Salon party. But I will text you in a bit. I want you to come home with me tonight.”
After I hit send, my heart skipped a beat. I started to panic. I hadn’t been paying attention. I reviewed my text messages and my outbox. I had made a mistake. The whole time I had Brian #1 on the brain…not realizing that another Brian (let’s call him Brian #2) had swooped in. Even though it was clearly Brian #2’s name on the texts, I had assumed from the beginning I had only been texting Brian #1.
ABORT, ABORT! I didn’t want to spend the rest of my night with Brian #2. We were still early on in our relationship. We had only kissed once. They were pity kisses for helping me clean up after a party I had thrown. Brian #1 was the one I really liked.
My chest heaved in and out. Oh, what to do. What to do.
Brian #2 sent a giddy follow-up. “Is my Vixen a little horny girl?”
I immediately followed up. “Ummm, excuse me? I find that totally offensive. Have a good night. See you another time.”
I was saved. He continued to text and call throughout the night. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean that. I think you’re the coolest, greatest girl ever. I didn’t mean that to be offensive. I was just playing. Please, don’t be mad about that. You know I really truly care about you.”
I continued to party and dance with my friends throughout the night.
I got back to Marcus. “The line at Temple is so long (I lied.).”
“Do you want me to come out and see if I can help? I was just out there talking to the security guard. I sent a girl home in a taxi.”
“Oh no. It’s ok. We are going to take off and go to another party.”
“We??? Are you with a date?”
“Hmmm. You just sent a girl home. Was she not a date?”
“I won’t respond to that. Anyhow, I sent her home.”
I smiled as I fired back, “You shouldn’t have. My date and I are going to another party.”
The fury lit up my cell phone. “WHATEFFA!!!”
At 4am, I decided to get back to Brian #2 after all of his apologetic pleas. “I can’t help that you’re an asshole.”
This was the last text/communication of the night. “Really? wow? ok. that’s that. thxs for making that clear. we are done. good luck.”