I’ve Lost It

I’ve totally lost it.  Last night I fell into a pretty depressed state due to some circumstances I just don’t want to get into.  I won’t get into the detail, but it’s the same old story so shouldn’t be hard to figure out.  Rejection.  Seems to be the theme of my life.  I woke up this morning not feeling like myself.  Completely out of it.  I met a friend for coffee today and gave him the wrong directions.  He was waiting for me at another Starbucks.  Lucky for me, he was nice about it. There’s something really wrong with me when I don’t eat…and today I didn’t eat.  At all.  I just went through the day.  I didn’t intend to not eat.  I just wasn’t hungry.  Not at all.  I’ve never tried acupuncture before.  I have been curious about it for some time now.  Well today I booked an emergency appointment, hoping it would pull me out of this funk.  It was weird.  I physically felt better.  More tingly and relaxed, but now that it’s night time and the appointment was in the afternoon, I’m back to the blues.  Hoping to sleep it off, talk to God about saving my mental health, and wake up feeling like the old me.  The happy, perky former me.  I need a vacation.  I need Burning Man right now.  Oh what I would give right now to fly away to the dessert and have the playa dust enter my lungs–breathe in, breathe out–and watch the sun creep up and smile.