I am really not a stalker…ok, maybe once or twice in my life. But when it comes to my exes, I really am a stalker. I’m pretty adamant that we remain friends. I figure, why not? This person was my best friend for a certain timeframe in my life. Why can’t we still at least be friends? Doesn’t always happen. Here is my attempt.
Dave: Hi Catherine, I hope you understand about me being uncomfortable about going to your birthday party. It would just feel weird being an ex-boyfriend at your birthday with your family and friends. Wouldn’t you feel weird with me there?
Catherine: i really don’t understand. you’re my friend. so of course i would want you there.
i don’t want you to be uncomfortable. i can’t assure you that you won’t be, but all my friends that you know will be there. my parents, my aunts, my sister and brother-in-law. i think you will fit right in. and there will be plenty of food to keep you occupied. i am not really dating anyone so you don’t have to worry about that either. i’m not really sure what to say anymore. if you don’t want to hang out, then i guess i kinda want to know that up front. i was hoping we could still be friends, but that is in your court. i deleted you from the invite because you said you weren’t coming, but if you change your mind, let me know and i will resend.
Dave: I do want to still be friends.
But I think more like e-mail and dinner sometimes friends. I care about and would like to still know how you are doing. But I don’t think I could just be hang out and sociable friends.
Too much history and old feelings would just make me feel uncomfortable and possibly sad
I couldn’t view you as just a friend, and that would be problematic.
Maybe once I am in a solid relationship that will change.