Yippee!!! He paid. Oh yeah, different guy, though.
One of my girlfriends moved back from NYC, had a welcome back dinner, and I met her friend Ethan. He is great. We chatted back and forth through Facebook, then he asked me out. I just got back from the Presidio Social Club. Our dinner reservations were at 7:45 so we were hanging out, talking for almost three hours. And he friggin paid. The way any guy should! He asked me out and he paid. That’s the way it should be. He shook his head, “Please no. I got it. PLEASE!” I didn’t even get a chance to even glance at the bill. He swiped it right up.
So Dan is about done. I’m not even certain of what my intent was in telling him that I was irritated that we split the bill…twice. Partly, I wanted to be nice. Partly, I want him to correct his behavior in the future. And partly, if I’m mad at someone, I like to get it out in the open. It helps me heal. But let’s be real. Even if guys think maybe you just want to be friends, if he asks you out, he should fucking pay the fucking bill! If Dan was trying to imply in his below email that he didn’t think I was interested AND he happens to have a lot of friends who are girls (which he reiterated in a subsequent email), let’s be real. Deep down, you’re not looking to befriend girls. You’re looking to get into their pantsies. So stop the bullshit and pay the bill. You suck it up, pay the bill, and then if she doesn’t reciprocate and she’s not interested, at least you know you went the route of the gentleman.
What a cheapass bastard. I don’t adhere to the cheap Jewish stereotype (addressing the comment I got). I have cheap, CHEAP ex-boyfriends; none of them were Jewish. I have cheap friends some of whom are Jewish, some of whom are not. My parents are the cheapest, scroogiest people I know. So you’ll find cheap people in every race, every religion, every culture. But this is a matter of courtesy. You ask a girl out, you pay. If you’re not going to pay, then I might as well stay home because I’d rather sit on the couch reading a book then deal with your cheapASS bullcrap.
(setting aside the issue that you actually ended up paying for part of his meals…)
oh man cathee, i’m starting to get a headache just trying to figure you out, girl.
at first i thought your email and his response were headed in a positive direction…that he just misunderstood & that you really *are* interested in him. then i read this most recent post and come to find you are *not* interested in him? i’m so confused.
you said, “i’m really not looking to add friends to my expansive network.” but you still expected him to pay. as in, “i already have enough friends i split the bill with. right now i’m only looking for male friends who will pay for me to go out with them. but, nope, still won’t consider dating you.”
to me, that attitude’s a little more offensive than when a guy (correctly) reads your not-interested vibes and doesn’t offer to cover your share.
to be clear, i obviously wasn’t there so i don’t know how it went down…i’m just piecing it together from your post.
but all this begs the question, if he was so fascinating, why no interest in him romantically?