I feel like everyone I know is pregnant. Some are having their second baby. And I don’t even have a boyfriend. This is the crap I have to deal with as a single, middle-aged woman. Lots of baby talk and lots of, “So…how’s the dating going?”
Recently I’ve gotten kinda sick of it. I mean, I don’t go up to people and ask, “So…how’s your marriage going?” So what makes people think they can ask me about my personal life willy-nilly. At some point, don’t they think that maybe it is too personal a question? At some point, don’t they think that maybe the exhaustive line of questioning hurts my feelings?
I came back from a wonderful one-week vacation in Paris. It was the best vacation I’ve ever been on. I was beaming from the trip. Then I went to a Kentucky Derby party. It was the first Kentucky Derby I’ve ever watched. The death of Eight Belles saddened me. That’s one thing. To see the second place filly put down. But to aggravate matters, while I was talking about my Paris trip, someone came up to me and said, “Oh, I don’t care about that. Let’s hear about the matchmaking.” I was ready to bludgeon her! The nerve of some people.
Since then, I’ve been on a tirade. As soon as someone brings up the matchmaking, I lash out. “Is that all you care about? I just came back from my trip and that’s the first question you ask? Are you fucking kidding me?”
One of my friends got the brunt of it two weeks ago. “Omigosh, I’m so sorry. I just…I don’t know. It’s just second-nature for me to ask about that.”
“There isn’t anything else you can think of? Maybe politics? Maybe the books I’m reading? Maybe the vacation I just took?” I shook my head.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I need a drink.”
Mrs. J
Catherine,
There is so much more to you than your dating life. I think people forget that.
I have had extensive conversations with other single friends about the same topic and came to the realization that the smug marrieds (or otherwise attached) should stop asking. For one thing, it’s nobody’s business. Upon deeper thought, I finally realized that asking about my friend’s personal lives doesn’t help anyone. It may actually put a lot of pressure on people that you truly care about for absolutely no reason.
I’m sure the road to hell is paved with many good intentions.
If we have inadvertedly made you feel that way, I am truly sorry. Please know that we are quite aware not to do that again.
You mean so much to us, and your happiness is solely defined by you, not anywone else.
Love,
Cheryl, Mark and Bubba