I started my blog three years ago almost as a continuation of the advice column I wrote in business school. I had no idea what it would become, how it would evolve, how my readership would grow. At first I didn’t tell anyone about it. I still don’t! I simply started including the blog address in my email signature. Then my name became google-able which is the reason why I’m taking it down. I have lost my anonymity and now it’s time to take it back.
I thought I would capture funny, unique snippets of my life and share them with friends. In doing so, I realized I wanted to share a more important theme. Inherently, I have always been a dark, solitary person. I was tired of reading books with happy endings, watching my network of friends find their forever after. Weren’t there people out there like me? Dateless in San Francisco? Frustrated, broken-hearted, Ambien-addicted? So I wrote to calm myself down. To share my miseries. Doesn’t misery love company? There have to be people out there who are on the brink of solitary madness. And I wanted to shout on the page, “I am here for you! Look at my life. It sucks. Read my stories. There are some great things about my life and there are some really bad things. I am a devout, church-going Catholic, reformed anorexic, alcoholic with an MBA. How fucking crazy is that? And also, how wonderful, enchanted, and enriching.
This has been my choice. I have chosen to blog. I have chosen to write publicly about my life. Now it’s time to stop. As I mentioned before, I want to fall in love the way people did before there was Match.com or Facebook or Google.
If I have one piece of advice to share, it is this. Never lose yourself for someone. Never lose yourself for anyone at all. I can’t believe I’m going to quote Sex in the City, but I remember watching Samantha in this scene and wanting to run up to the television screen and give her a hug. I thought she was so strong, so real. It was when she ended her engagement with the love of her life, a philandering charmer. She said, “I love you. But I love me more.” And she walked out.
Everyone has the love life they want. This blog has been the love of my life for the past three years. I have no regrets—only passionate memories. Thank you for your commitment. Thank you for reading my truth.
Please call me, send me tulips via carrier pigeon. My life has freed up. I cannot wait to tell my stories to you in person. cgacad@ChicagoGSB.edu