I started running again. Kinda out of the blue. Kinda out of the springtime feel of things. Maybe this time, I’ll really try to qualify for Boston which means I need to run a marathon in 3:30. That’s an eight-and-a-half minute mile. No problem, right? But for 26.2 miles straight. That’s a problem. I can barely watch a movie for over two hours, let alone run for three and a half. Shit. I got so used to my free time, being social, hanging out with friends. Running is a solo sport. Even when you’re running with a group, especially if you’re trying to best your time, I can’t imagine you’re happily conversing with a running partner. It takes a lot of concentration, a lot of time, a lot of fucking work. I’m wondering whether I have the drive to do it. I just have to make up my mind, pay for the marathon upfront, and just do it. But I’m not sure if I want to commit. Probably more importantly, I’ve noticed I’m not the same energetic person I used to be. I thought it was age, but that can’t be it. That’s an excuse on my part. When I ran consistently, I didn’t sleep in on weekends. I didn’t take naps. I wasn’t tired all the time. I didn’t have to caffeinate all day, every day. I’ve become addicted to caffeine: tea and soda. In fact, I considered starting to drink coffee. Daniel talked me out of it. I remember trying it in college because it was the college thing to do. Drink coffee. So I gave it the old college try. Not only did I hate the bitter taste, I couldn’t stop shaking all night. I felt like I was on drugs. I went back to my dorm, tried to calm myself down, but continued to shake uncontrollably. I put myself to bed, but shook through the night, whimpering in my sleep. I haven’t touched coffee since then. Despite that bad experience, I recently gave it a second consideration. I’m tired all the time. I can’t stay awake in meetings. I run to the kitchen for more soda. It’s a vicious cycle. Hence the running again. It really has renewed my energy. But I’m not the type of person to simply run. I need a goal, and that goal might have to be a marathon.