Let the Games Begin

I started running again.  Kinda out of the blue.  Kinda out of the springtime feel of things. Maybe this time, I’ll really try to qualify for Boston which means I need to run a marathon in 3:30. That’s an eight-and-a-half minute mile.  No problem, right?  But for 26.2 miles straight. That’s a problem.  I can barely watch a movie for over two hours, let alone run for three and a half.  Shit.  I got so used to my free time, being social, hanging out with friends.  Running is a solo sport.  Even when you’re running with a group, especially if you’re trying to best your time, I can’t imagine you’re happily conversing with a running partner.  It takes a lot of concentration, a lot of time, a lot of fucking work.  I’m wondering whether I have the drive to do it.  I just have to make up my mind, pay for the marathon upfront, and just do it.  But I’m not sure if I want to commit. Probably more importantly, I’ve noticed I’m not the same energetic person I used to be.  I thought it was age, but that can’t be it.  That’s an excuse on my part. When I ran consistently, I didn’t sleep in on weekends.  I didn’t take naps.  I wasn’t tired all the time.  I didn’t have to caffeinate all day, every day.  I’ve become addicted to caffeine: tea and soda. In fact, I considered starting to drink coffee.  Daniel talked me out of it.  I remember trying it in college because it was the college thing to do.  Drink coffee.  So I gave it the old college try.  Not only did I hate the bitter taste, I couldn’t stop shaking all night.  I felt like I was on drugs.  I went back to my dorm, tried to calm myself down, but continued to shake uncontrollably.  I put myself to bed, but shook through the night, whimpering in my sleep.  I haven’t touched coffee since then.  Despite that bad experience, I recently gave it a second consideration.  I’m tired all the time.  I can’t stay awake in meetings.  I run to the kitchen for more soda.  It’s a vicious cycle. Hence the running again.  It really has renewed my energy.  But I’m not the type of person to simply run.  I need a goal, and that goal might have to be a marathon.