As someone who prides herself (it’s more like bragging) on easily wearing high heels and being able to run a marathon with 3-inch platforms, I twisted my leg last night. I was strutting around in my 4-inch Gucci boots and my left stilt caught on a sidewalk crack. Before I came crashing down, I tried to correct the situation—which prevented a fall on wet pavement, but managed to twist my poor ankie. Pooey. I’ve been laid up all day except for an early morning eye appointment for a routine checkup and dilation. I couldn’t even read for half the day, it took hours for the blurriness to wear away.
I’m sure you’re all concerned about my Botox treatment. To be honest, it took a couple days for it to kick in, but I no longer have any underarm wetness. Not a single bead of perspiration. I was dancing around the other night, totally getting into it, totally sweating. I checked my armpits. Nothing. No perspiration at all. Very weird considering I’ve been Miss Piggy my whole life. I hope the Botox lasts for a year.
I mentioned that my girlfriends got me the best Rabbit vibrator money can buy, right? I don’t think I told you the whole story. So I’m at Good Vibrations with my friend. She’s paying for it. Then, the sales clerk tosses a few condoms into the bag and explains, “It’s really important to use condoms with your vibrator. This vibrator is made out of a porous material that collects bacteria.” Now how’s that for a major turn-off? The vibrator has been sitting on my dresser ever since. I still have to get batteries for it, but I’m not too excited about A) using a bacteria-collecting sex device or B) going through the motions of putting a condom on the damn thing before using it. What’s the point?
Last topic for the evening before I go out and get my drink on…I hate when other girls are getting more attention than me. I assume it’s natural to feel this way. Case in point #1: I joined a crowd of my guys friends and one girlfriend (who is married) for drinks the other night. I was the last one to get there, but when I joined the group, you’d think I was non-existent. A few of the guys were kind enough to wave, but immediately went back to staring at my girlfriend. She’s prettier than me, that’s for certain. But I had a lot of good stories to tell that night and no one seemed to care! All of the guys just roared with laughter as she told one stupid story after another, giggling away. I was not pleased as I drank glass after glass of wine. That leads me to a new case. Case in point #2: A friend of a friend has recently moved here to San Francisco. I’m that kind of person who considers all my friends’ friends my own. I’m practically the first to welcome them to the city, encourage them to meet my friends, and network into my own social activities. Now this friend of a friend turns out to be beautiful. I’m talking Miss Universe-kind of beauty. Not only is she beautiful, she’s extremely smart and really nice. Last time we were all together, every single guy turned their head as she walked into the room. I couldn’t take it. So I don’t even want to hang out with her in the future. It’s so bad, but she’s asked if we could hang out…and I don’t want to! I am a jealous girl like that.
Is she single?
{duck}
Here is the thing, just cause 100,000 guys like vanilla, doesnt mean vanilla will have more success w/ dating. In fact, vanilla is going to have a tougher time weeding out the sh*t.
Pretty is a very fluid concept imo. So is sexy. I’ve dated very pretty girls, but the sex has fizzled. I’ve dated not so pretty girls, and the sex was gangbusters.
The bottom line is finding the person who is right for you. You are attractive enough that you shouldn’t be affected by some mainstream flavor. Take pride in your niche, there are some who prefer it 1000x over vanilla.
Hey Rob,
Mainstream flavor? This girl is HOT! And when I say hot, I mean…black-eyed, dark-skinned, ravishing beauty. She’s as un-vanilla as it gets; she’s totally exotic.
Not only that…she’s mental. And when I mean mental, I’m talking ivy-league, phi beta kappa, reads to the blind type of mental. And nice. She’s super nice, too!
I’ve got no niche over this girl except the less attractive, dumber, not as friendly kind of niche.
Hmm, I think I was referring to girl #1; the married one w/ the stupid stories. I regard vapid beauty as vanilla.
Now, this Giselle/Mother Theresa/Ivy League girl… I must admit, she sounds delicious. I think you should become great friends with her and the two of you should come out to AZ for a visit!
Seriously though, I had a friend in college who was putting himself through law school by doing underwear modeling. At some point I realized he was always going to be more physically attractive than I was, but I also realized if I opened my mouth, and had a good attitude, he wasn’t going to “win” the affections of the girls we were with 100% of the time. But yes, my ego did take some bruising yet I’ve always thought the friendship with him helped me to find my identity to some extent.
Finally, to put things in perspective, the same friend ended up killing himself a few years back.
Im pretty sure there is a lesson there.