The Wedding Has Been Called Off

I was about to get married. I’m totally serious. Not at all joking.

Giddy with excitement, all we could think about was the wedding celebration. What month should it be? It should be soon, not too far off. The sooner, the better. We would have to send out ‘Save the Date’ cards. Where would it be? Have to have an open bar. We have so many alcoholic friends. How about a Sunday brunch for the day after the wedding? Oh, and we should register for gifts. Lots and lots of presents! We’ll get home appliances from Williams Sonoma so he could cook me pancakes in the morning. We should also retain a lawyer to draft up a legal document…just in case. You never know.

I called off the wedding when I realized that there would most likely be a marriage penalty when it comes to our taxes. I thought there would be a tax benefit. That’s the whole reason I asked Marc to marry me!

“Marky, we should get married. I think there’s a tax benefit. Let me look into it.”

“That’s fabulous! I’ll start planning the guest list. It’s too bad you’re not an illegal alien, that would make this so much better.”