Not Worth It

I spent the past hour scrubbing my hands in warm soapy water, applying acetone, and picking away at dried superglue on my index finger, thumb, and the palm of my right hand. Why? I tried to mend a ceramic trashcan that had slipped and come crashing onto my floor a week ago while I was emptying it. Three chunks had broken off and I was convinced I could mend the Humpty Dumpster. Not a problem. I picked up a little tube of Krazy Glue that cost me a little under $5. Expensive, especially considering I purchased the trashcan on clearance for $10 at Mervyn’s. But this thing was fixable. No need to get a new trashcan.

So I crouched down on my bathroom floor, gluing away and going at it. The first big chunk snapped right into place. Simple enough. The last two pieces were smaller and much trickier. But still, seemed simple enough. Well, as I tapped them into place, the little shits came undone. Stupidly, I hadn’t read the part in the directions about not getting the superglue onto your skin. Of course, I pick up the small pieces—all sticky—and pat them back into place. Again, they wouldn’t adhere. I did this once again before they finally stuck. All done, except that my right hand felt extremely crusty. I read the caution label and realized I was in for a treat. So that’s what I did tonight. Fixed my trashcan and scrubbed my hands. Fun!

I believe I am now eligible for the Darwin award.