Whenever I look at people and think of them as weird, I always wonder if others think the same of me.
Of all my weird habits (whether or not I can help it), I think the worst is the drool. I’m the most slobbery person I know. And I can’t help it! I’ll wake up in the middle of the night with my face marinating on a damp pillow. I’ll wipe up, flip the pillow around, only to arise in the morning to a pool of drool. It’s disgusting, I know. At least I’m in the privacy of my own bedroom. No one’s around to see me mop up my face.
What’s worse is when others see. I have a tendency to doze off in airplanes, cars, buses. I’ve caught myself mid-dream…drool dribbling down my shirt. The passenger next to me pretends not to see. How embarrassing! I feel like a little kid with an uncontrollable bad habit.
I’ve also been told I snore. Not a lot and inconsistently, but enough to be embarrassed about it. One morning, my cousins echoed together, “You started snoring as soon as you passed out!” Hmmm, blame it on a deviated septum. I can use that excuse for rhinoplasty. My nose can certainly use a little carving here and there.
I can’t confirm that I snore since I’ve never heard it myself. Nor has anyone ever recorded me—not that I would be able to decipher my snore from anyone else’s. But I can confirm that I sleep with my eyes partly open. Isn’t that creepy? I know! You should see the pictures. It looks like I’m peaking at you, but I’m actually completely asleep. My college roommate said she could never telling whether I was really taking a nap or if I was just resting with my eyes sort of open. I swear I’m asleep. Guess my eyelids are too lazy to shut completely.
The last quirk is controllable, but I can’t help it. The alarm clock snooze feature is my morning friend, but the enemy to anyone else. I snooze the alarm for a good hour before finally getting up out of bed. I’ve tried setting the alarm at exactly the time I need to get up, but it never works. I wake up crabby and very upset. I need to gradually wake up which means snoozing for as long as I can. Bed fellows hate it.
Drooling, snoring, staring, snoozing. My, what a freak of nature I am.