Wedding Etiquette

My friend got married yesterday in the Peninsula. It was a beautiful wedding at a Catholic church with the reception at a nearby country club. I’ve been to many weddings so I like to point out the unique things I notice with each one. At the church, all of the guests were escorted to a seat. I thought that was a nice touch. Her dress, designed by Monique Lhuillier, was the most exquisite wedding gown I’ve ever seen and she looked beautiful in it. I also thought the speeches (by her father, her brother, the maid of honor, and the best man) were some of the best I’ve heard. Her brother pulled out a gift that the bride had made him. It was a hand-crafted heart with a pocketful of tasks—getting a soda, back rub. Her brother was handing it over to the groom to use. The crowd oohed and aahed over the memento. The family also made a donation in honor of the wedding guests to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society in lieu of favors. Everyone at my table thought that was a noble gesture, especially since we failed to recollect any interesting favors from past weddings.

All of these things made the wedding special, but what was particularly noteworthy for me was how nice the wedding party and family were. There were 220 guests at this wedding, but the bride popped up behind me a few times to see how I was doing. Like I said, I’ve been to many weddings. I’ve even been to weddings where the bride or groom barely said one word to me—and I was in some of those weddings! Why ask me to be part of your wedding party? Why ask me to spend hundreds of dollars on a bridesmaid dress, a wedding shower, a bachelorette party, then barely acknowledge me during the wedding? After those weddings, I just shook my head and vowed to not do the same if ever I get married. I know weddings are huge affairs. My sister had 350 guests. Even then, I would bet my life that she greeted almost every single one of them.

Things to keep in mind for those of you out there planning weddings. Try to make your guests feel like they were invited for a reason. If you don’t think you’ll have time to spend a few minutes with each guest, then pare down your guest list and only invite the people you’ll make an effort to talk to.