I was scanning a book I got for my birthday (Not this most recent birthday; it was a previous year). It’s called More Things You Need to Be Told: A Guide to Good Taste and Proper Comportment in a Tacky, Rude World. Some of the advice is obvious. But I thought the most helpful section was the Elements of Chivalry directed at men. What it did was validate behavior I expect from someone I’m dating.
I’m copying the points that the book makes here below. The authors expounded on the elements, but I’m editing to make this brief. Boys, please try and remember these rules. They are indicative of a true gentleman.
- Boys should open doors for girls.
- Girls precede boys through every door except revolving doors.
- Boys graciously give up their seats on buses, trains, etc., when all the seats are taken and a girl is forced to stand.
- It is very nice for a boy to help a girl into her coat.
- In a bar, if there is no table service, it’s nice for the boy to fetch the drinks.
- IF A BOY HAS ASKED A GIRL OUT ON A DATE, HE SHOULD PAY. (Boys, print this out and tape it to your refrigerator. This is Catherine speaking. Validation! I was thinking for a while this may just be urban legend. After I read this, I jumped up and screamed ‘Hallelujah!’ But boys don’t buy books like this. Maybe they’ll read my blog and come to their senses.)
- When you are taking seats at a theater, the girl precedes the boy into the row of seats. In a restaurant, when the Maitre d’ is leading you to your table, the girl precedes the boy.
- When a girl is taking a seat at the table, the boy pulls out her chair for her.
- Boys, take off the damn hats indoors.
- If a girl is struggling with something she is carrying, it is kind of you to assist her.
- If it is raining, it is nice if the boy holds the umbrella if he is sharing it avec a girl.
- If a boy and a girl are walking down the sidewalk, the boy walks on the side closest to the street. Chivalric boys open car doors for girls.
- If it is cold out, it is very kind of you to offer your coat to a girl.