Wow, I’ve gone on quite a hiatus. My apologies. I’m not sure where to begin. Part of the reason I haven’t written is because I don’t know whether it’s appropriate to write about someone who has the potential to remain in my life.
The purpose of my blog was to talk about all the eccentric things that happen to me as a single woman who’s actively dating. There have been a lot of stories to tell. For the most part, my entries were a single story with an end point. The end. I could write about and make fun of these guys because I knew they would not be a part of my future.
That’s just not the way it is now.
I’m scared that if I write about him, he’ll somehow get grouped into all the other meaningless relationships I’ve been in. And in suffusing him into my blog, what we have will fade into another meaningless relationship. I do not want that to happen.
Let me qualify what I just said…because I believe that we learn something and we change and grow from everything—even bad relationships. So no relationship is meaningless. What I meant to say was ‘futureless.’ Somehow he’ll get grouped into all the other futureless relationships I’ve been in.
I guess I’ll just start with the fact that I’ve never dated someone like him before. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I’m finally getting what I need out of dating: someone who’s available, honest, and affectionate. I can count on him to call, to make plans ahead of time—exactly the way it should be.
I’ve always been open and honest with my writing. All the entries are truthful. I don’t want to back down now. But I am scared that one day he will come across my blog and think differently of me…maybe even hate me—even though this entire blog is who I am. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, especially someone I have fallen for.
So for now I’m going to state the following:
I reserve the right to remove entries from my blog at any time.
Consider the next couple postings limited editions. Read now and forever hold your peace.