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Hell’s Kitchen

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Is there really any truth to that? I guess if some guy brought me some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies I’d be smitten.

I’ve decided to try again. I’ve tried to cook in the past, but I always struggled. I missed an ingredient at the store. It didn’t turn out right. I got frustrated.

I’m so easy to please that cooking seemed such a waste of time. I’m just as fond of a canister of Pringles as I am homemade pasta. In fact, I’d prefer Pringles. Besides, Pringles are only $2. Dinner for $2. You can’t beat that!

But I have to be able to cook something…anything. I polled a bunch of my guy friends and they all seem to agree that as long as I can cook one meal well, I’m golden. After that, I can eat out as much as I want.

The consensus on which meal to learn centered around breakfast: good old-fashioned bacon and eggs. A guy wakes up to the smell of bacon. Next day, he’s shopping for an engagement ring. Perfect. I didn’t even need the diamond incentive; I love bacon and eggs. This is something I could cook on my own every day if only I knew how.

Small roadblock: I don’t have any cookware. Whatever I previously owned, I ditched throughout my moves because I realized I never had any use for them. “Should I buy a pot?” I asked my friends.

“A pot? You need a frying pan!”

A frying pan is on its way thanks to Macys.com. I ordered the Cuisinart non-stick pan along with three ultra-soft Calvin Klein towels. A splurge at $30 each. A present to myself from my bonus money. I used the towels at my friend Cristina’s house and fell in love. They are the softest towels ever. To balance out the towel splurge, I went cheapie on the pan. It’s non-stick, but it’s not stainless. Puhleeze. $25 compared to $69 for extra shiny stainless steel. I’d rather buy another towel.

Now that I’ve been talking about how I want to learn how to cook, people are taking me under their wing. I helped my friend Marc with breakfast this past weekend. Patsy’s going to teach me how to make dinner. And everyone else is telling me their moron-proof concoctions. “This is the easiest recipe. You can’t go wrong. It’s so good, too. Start by sautéing the chicken.”

Umm, can we back up for the cooking-challenged ditz who spent her adult years eating cereal for dinner? What kind of chicken? How do I know what to buy at the store? I’ve never shopped for meat before.

Last Saturday, I helped Marc with brunch at his place. By the time I got there, he had cranberry scones ready to come out of the oven. I put the second batch of them in. I watched him lay the bacon out on his griddle. Then I helped a little with the frittata. That’s a little bit out of my scope. I’m like the girl with an extra chromosome signing up for AP classes. But bacon, I definitely can do that.

Baby cooking steps. I’m going to make bacon for myself this weekend. Next up: eggs.

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03.07.06

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Welcome to my site, derived from an advice column I wrote while getting my MBA. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. I give helpful, opinionated advice based on my own experience and from the expertise of my extensive network. For more, click here.

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