My friend Patsy sent me this hilarious forward. I’m editing just for my favorites.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:
Wants Soul mate………Stalker
I am sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need to talk = You’re in trouble
Sure, go ahead = You better not
Do what you want = You will pay for this later
May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you.
HOW TO TRANSLATE CATHERINE’S BOY TALK:
All this funniness got me thinking that I often times say things that need translating. So here’s what you will catch me saying when I talk about boys along with the true translation.
He’s really nice. = He’s not that cute.
He’s hot. = He doesn’t call.
He’s smart. = He’s really smart. (I don’t date dumb guys.)
I can see myself marrying this guy. = Whenever we go out, he pays.
He’s really sharp. = He’s got his eye on any girl who walks into the bar.
He’s alright. = He calls me all the time.
I’m really into him. = He’s hot.
I want to have his kids. = (You will never hear me say this.)
He’s a total gentleman. = He’s so boring, I can’t stand it.
One of these days you should meet him. = He’s a good guy. He’s not a player. I’m just hoping you won’t like him so it’ll give me an excuse to dump him.